Blog, Sweet Blog

Archive for June 11th, 2008

Mood: Groggy
Music: Equipment fans

Ugh…so much has happened since I last opened you dear diary.  Here’s a summary…

-Started seeing a new therapist, Dr. S…she’s cool.  She describes herself as “gender queer” but she pretty much presents as a butch lesbian.  She’s very nice and easy to talk to…went to Dartmouth, D.Psy. at DU.  I had been seeing her weekly, but recently switched to bi-weekly.  Her practice is pretty new and it seems like she’s only ever really had experience dealing with trans-men.  I think I’m her first MtoF patient.

-I found a family doctor (Dr. A) who is well-known in the trans community and she is awesome!  I went to see her for an initial consultation and she did a physical.  I didn’t fast or anything for the blood test, so the results were pretty bad when they got them back a couple of weeks later…high bad cholesterol and slightly elevated liver function.  I initially went in there to ask for an anti-depressant prescription, but she thought trying hormones would make me feel better emotionally.  However, it took three weeks to get back and see her.  I thought I would have to wait until I had another blood test three months later.  This fact (combined with other things, see below) majorly stressed me out.  Things are much better now though…see below.

-Cassy moved out.  That was pretty horrible.

-Jen graduated and the whole family came out for it.  Mom, Tom, and, Aunt Debbie stayed with me.  I “slept” on the couch and gave Mom and Tom my bed.

Umm, for some reason, having my family out here stressed me way the fuck out.  So much so that I started getting pains in my right chest/shoulder area (where the chest meets the arm).  I guess it’s the fact that Mom was being weird and that I’m not out to any of them yet.  Seeing a therapist and lining up a hormone-prescribing doctor felt like positive steps forward.  Having to put the breaks on that while my folks were out here was really hard on me.  Oh yeah, and I guess there was that whole breakup thing.  Going through all of that with Cassy left me with a very thin skin.  So any little thing had the potential for making me angry or cry…sometimes both.  One positive outcome of the trip is that Mom, Aunt Debbie, Jen and I might be going out to Chicago for a small vacation in September.  That should be fun, but it will be hard on me again if I’m not out to them by then.  Actually, it might be really hard considering the recent changes…see below.

-Jen moved in with me.  OMG, this has been really hard.  Jen and I seem to have a very damaged relationship (although not more damaged than other sibling pairs I know of).  We had a major fight like the first week and we were all set to have her leave.  We made up and things have been better since, but we’re still on shaky ground.  IDK, we need to find something to bond over.

-I STARTED TAKING HORMONES on Friday, June 6, 2008 at 8:30 am.  I’m really excited about this, but kinda scared too.  So far, I haven’t really felt much of a difference, but I have felt a little nauseous and I have to pee a lot more because of the Spiro.  Dr. A gave me a prescription for 4 mg of Estradiol and 200 mg of Spironolactone (sp?).  I filled the prescription at Target on Thursday at lunch and started taking them the next day.  I think I’m making the right choice but it’s hard to know for sure.  I guess the biggest problem I’m anticipating right now is starting to pass for a woman with a bald head.  I should be fine with a wig or hair system after I go full time, but I’m going to hold off on that as long as possible at work.  Also, now that I’m moving forward with things pretty quickly, I have a lot of decisions to make…should I bank my sperm, when do I come out to family, friends, and work, when will the effects of the hormones be really noticeable, etc.  IDK, I think the first few months will be kind of hard.

That’s about it for now.  I’m in Cheyenne with Mike and JV doing some stuff with the WY network, so I need to go do some work.  Maybe I’ll write more tonight.



an introduction

Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

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June 2008