Blog, Sweet Blog

Archive for July 14th, 2008

Mood: Ugh
Music: The Smiths-Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want

Ugh, fucking Mondays.  Lately, it seems like I’ve had a real problem making a go of Mondays.  I’m not sure why either.  Maybe it’s because I don’t usually exercise on the weekend, so my endorphins are lower.  Maybe it’s because I stay up late and am likely to have a small hangover.  IDK, but they have been sucking a lot lately.

I feel really alone right now.  I felt really alone this weekend.  Cassy is…?  I’m not sure where Cassy is or what she’s up to.  She didn’t call me all week.  I sent her an email on Saturday, but those are easy to ignore.  I really miss her though and it makes all of this seem like a really bad idea sometimes.  I think it’s shitty that we used to be best friends and now she won’t even talk to me on a regular basis.  On the other hand, she probably thinks it’s shitty that her fiancé changed his mind about his entire life with her.  Other than trying to stay in touch with her and being there for her, I don’t know what else I should be doing.

Jen wasn’t around much either.  She had to work all weekend and the time she was off, she didn’t spend with me.  Which is fine I guess.  I don’t expect her to be my buddy and hang out with me all the time.  We each have our own “lives” (though mine usually involves coming home late, watching TV, and going to bed early and alone).  She’s such a b itch though or she has no idea how she’s coming across.  Like today, she called to ask if I would like to come home earlier and have dinner with her.  When I didn’t answer immediately, she made a pissy comment like, “Well, I need to know what you’re going to do so I know whether to take the meat out of the freezer.”  It was nice of her to offer and make dinner for us, but I don’t respond well to thoughtful invitations couched in impatience and bad attitude.  She could have waited another ten seconds and I would have given her my answer.  Instead I told her, “maybe we can just do it tomorrow.”  Secondly though, it seems like she’s trying to make up for ditching me by planning something on her terms entirely.  She’s lived me long enough to know that I don’t do much during the week.  Like I said, I pretty much work late, go to the gym, and go to bed early.  I kind of like it that way too.  So anyway, I like how she can call me up with a kind of sweet gesture and make me feel shitty at the end of it.  IDK, maybe I’m too sensitive these days.

Regardless though, I really need to meet some new people.  I fully intend (although I’m very nervous) to go to the support group meetings at the GIC, but I want to get a decent outfit to wear.  I bought some shoes and new clothes, but I haven’t received them yet.  Hopefully, there will be some cool people there, but I am fully prepared for a major let down.  I should try to be more optimistic.  Here, here’s a smiley towards that end J.

Amway, thanks for listening Deirdre, XOXO

p.s. One more thing…I AM GETTING SOOOOO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING TO PEE LIKE EVERY SINGLE HOUR OF THE DAY!!!!!!  ENOUGH!!!!  Ugh, it’s the Spironolactone that does it, and I’m not going to stop taking it anytime soon, but peeing all the time is very very very very very tiring.

p.p.s.  Oooh, one more thing, a good thing, I noticed that the area under my nipples is kinda sore like all the time 🙂 So that’s good, but I’m not really looking forward to being in more pain all the time.  I feel it all the time just to make sure that I’m not still sore from the gym or that it’s some kind of fluke.  Still, five weeks seems pretty early for this to start happening, but I’ll take it.

an introduction

Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

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July 2008