Blog, Sweet Blog

I hate your blog/vlog/stupid face

Posted on: Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Mood: In one of those moods…tiredcranky
Music: Spiritualized-I Think I’m in love

I don’t really, but I’m feeling cranky and uppity this morning.  Sometimes I like to put up inflammatory titles in order to “attract readers” and make them “read my blog.”  There is a point to that title and I’ll get to it right after this morning’s music lesson…

I wanted to do a whole post about Spiritualized and Spacemen 3, but I couldn’t find this one picture I was thinking of…so we all suffer.  It was triangular like a space mission patch with the Spacemen 3 logo…ta da!…

https://i2.wp.com/www.bodypunks.com/Impact-Images/detail/sm01.jpg

…and it had the band’s logo “Taking drugs to make music to take drugs to” (which is just about the most awesome slogan ever) written around the border of the patch in rainbow letters.  Did I just hallucinate that one night or does this actually exist?  Maybe I’m thinking of this brilliant band’s brilliant album cover?

hawkwind_-_in_search_of_space_a.jpg IN SEARCH OF SPACE image by cozzmick

Thrilling deep space adventure, thy name is Hakwind.

Seriously, who wouldn’t want to go on that mission?  But anyway, I can’t find that picture, so I’m not going to give them a full post.  Both bands are pretty great though.  They fail some of the time, but if you want to hear songs about making a go of life even though you have a gigantic drug habit, lost love, regret, junked-out alienation, having your breakfast right off of a mirror,  and fucking freaking out with guitars, then this is the band for you.   “Home of the Brave” came on this morning at the beginning of my bus ride and it was perfect and beautiful.

Ok, so on to the point of this post.  I subscribe to a lot of blogs and read their updates every morning before starting work.  I also have a YouTube page and even though I haven’t been to it in months, I have channel subscriptions so I can keep up with people’s video logs (or vlogs, which is not a term I like as it reminds me of the sound of vomit).  I like hearing and reading people’s stories, and vlogs and blogs can be so intimate.  So I follow a lot of *logs and I generally enjoy them.  But, there are a few *vlogs that just give me the cringing crazies (like yours for one, Jamie, sorry…lol, jk).  Like, they’re just so full of shit or so unbelievably conceited and clueless and stupid, yet hopeful that I can’t help but read or watch whatever they put up.  It’s like bad, but earnest, cable access…I can’t look away.

Now, of course I realize that there is a certain level of blind narcissism involved in sharing your every intimate thought and mal-formed opinion with the world.  And I’m as guilty as the next person.  Yes, of course I’m very funny and one of the world’s leading experts on “music you should be listening to right now” (Interpol would pair well with this paragraph), but at least I’m…I don’t know…aware?  …self-deprecating? …honest? …not usually delusional?  Oh, I don’t know what I’m trying to say.  I don’t want to be a total bitch and call them out from my tiny blog or send them an itemized list of the ways they suck (and with what frequency).  I guess I just want to grouse and complain.  Oh, and if you’re worried that I’m talking about you and I’ve written you at any point, stop worrying.

Ugh, I told you I was in one of those moods.  I’ve had a headache since five minutes before waking up (I’m blaming hormones) and I have to pee…again.  Also, I’m working on a speech that my boss will read to my coworkers at the all-hands meeting right after he tells everyone my biggest secret ever and it’s kind of doing my head in.

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3 Responses to "I hate your blog/vlog/stupid face"

Who crapped in *your* cornflakes this morning?

Also, you must know TWO Jamies, ’cause I’m not only a dangerously unbalanced train-wreck who gives good crazy – nay – LEGENDARY crazy – I’m also a Viking at conceit and cluelessness.

But really. REALLY. This is all about *me* isn’t it? C’mon I *know* your whole blog is basically set up to discuss *me* at every opportunity. I assume all blogs everywhere are. Honey you just can’t deal with all my awesome. Face!

OK I’m done now.

Wow coming out at your work sounds like running for president or something. I think I’d just rock up at the next team meeting and say “oh hey dudes, I’m a chick now, so don’t get it twisted”, and they’d say “oh cool that explains the bra and stuff” and then we’d have a discussion about how to get more customers to take up direct debit billing. Also, there would be chips. But good luck writing your speech, I guess that’s another way to go, too. I’m sure it will go swimmingly and you’ll breeze through the whole coming out, and it wont be long before you’re caught up in an office romance with Harold from accounting and discussing your boss’s unruly nasal hair with Janice while you both pee in adjoining cubicles. In the Ladies room I mean. Wow, that came out all kinds of wrong.

Yeah, I don’t know. I guess a girl’s just gotta hate some mornings. I feel better now.

Oh honey, you know I wasn’t hating your blog, right? Hating that it’s so good maybe but not hating hating. You’re right though, I am always talking about you and my blog is a thinly-veiled ode to all that is Jamie. I can’t really speak for other blogs, but I have no problem believing you’re the inspiration for, if not focus of most blogs, nay (lol) websites.

Ugh, I know…I wish I won something at the end of all this. I guess I’m winning my freedom or my life or sanity or something, but flowers would be nice…or the ability to wield ultimate power…a kitten? Actually, I’m glad it’s been more of a formal process but it has been a lot of work and I’ve had to write a lot. The letter (which I finished btw) was my idea though. I wanted a more palatable way to tell everyone how to treat me on the day (be nice, call me Anna, don’t blab this to new people, I’m single, lol). I think it’ll go well too (I’m sure I’ll write about it either way), but I really appreciate your well-wishes.

No… see… I knew that. I did. I was being *funny*. I was playing a conceited and delusional character purely for *comedic purposes*. I do that a lot. It masks my terrible, terrible pain. Why must you always force the magician to reveal what’s behind the black curtain Anna? Why?

Anyway, I’m glad *some* well-wishes peeked out from behind the layers and layers of absurdist subterfuge. You do deserve a reward for all this work. Maybe at the end of it all you’ll get to be Anna without thinking about it or worrying about it anymore, and you’ll find that that’s better than having flowers. Or maybe you’ll be given hard cash. I’m not sure how it works to be honest.

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an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

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