Blog, Sweet Blog

Archive for April 24th, 2009

Mood: What’s the word?  Alright!
Music: The Replacements-Seen Your Video

Hey y’all.  I just got done working on the final draft of a letter to my coworkers and I thought I’d share it with you…because it’s, you know, important and stuff.  The backstory is that we’re going to have an all-hands meeting on Monday, May 4th.  My boss and our institute’s director scheduled the meeting to tell everyone about little old me while I’m out of the office on vaca.  I’m not sure about exactly what will go on at the meeting, but I assume there will be some frank discussion of me, my plans, what bathroom I’m going to use, the severe penalties to be levied against anyone that makes me the least bit unhappy or gets out of line, donuts, a few jokes, and a little bit of crying followed by a group hug.  But seriously, they’re going to use that time to talk about me and get everyone’s feedback on all of this without me being there…which seems like a good idea to me.  At some point, hopefully sometime after they’ve told everyone the reason they’re at the meeting, my boss will read this…

Hi Everyone,

Wow, when I started here almost two years ago, I didn’t think this day would ever arrive.  I’m sorry to have to drag you all down here for another boring meeting, but, hopefully, this won’t take long.  As Director and Boss said, I have decided to change my name and start back to work presenting as a woman.  The reason I’m doing this is because I’m what’s commonly referred to as transsexual or a person that has been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (GID).  A more clinical definition for transsexual is a person who strongly identifies with the opposite sex and may seek to live as a member of this sex especially by undergoing surgery and hormone therapy to obtain the necessary physical appearance. People with GID are different than and shouldn’t be confused with drag queens, hermaphrodites, cross-dressers, or transvestites.  And even though the word “sexual” is right there in the word, transsexuality has to do with how a person perceives their own gender and has nothing to do with their sexuality…there are lesbian, gay, and straight transsexuals.

I’m sure a lot of you are wondering why I chose to do this here and now. There are a couple of reasons, actually.  The medical community has established the Benjamin Standards of Care as a way to treat GID.  These standards ensure that a person is physically, mentally, and emotionally stable enough to handle hormone replacement therapy and surgery.  Before a person can obtain clearance for surgery, they must participate in what the Standards of Care refer to as a Real-Life Experience for at least a year.  During this time, the person must live successfully in their desired gender by completing a legal name change and functioning as an employee, student, or volunteer for the entire year.  After a lot of soul-searching and preparation, I finally feel like this is the right time to start living my life.

The other reason I decided to make this change here is that redacted feels like home to me.  I have wanted to do this for a long time but, before now, I had never found a place that was worth the effort.  I love my job and I feel honored that I’m allowed to walk in the building and work with all of you.  I love the people here and the work we do and there isn’t any other place I’d rather be.  If I want to make this my home (and I do), then I need to be honest with all of you.  I’m not trying to over share my personal life or demand any sort of special treatment.  I’m just trying to present myself as authentically as I know how from now on.

So what’s next?  Well, after the six hour long sensitivity training seminar and magic show…just kidding! Alright, let’s talk about when I come back to work on Wednesday.  After a nerve-wracking drive into work and a good ten minutes of freak-out time in the parking lot, I’ll walk inside.  I will look and sound a little bit different, hopefully better.  I’ve already legally changed my name to Anna (like Anne-a, not Ahhhhh-nah) Elizabeth (like Elizabeth) redacted so I’ll be busy for a while getting a new badge and filling out paperwork.  If you spot me in the hall afterward and would like to say “hi”, please do…I swear this is not contagious 🙂 You can call me whatever you’d like, but I’d prefer Anna and for you to use female pronouns like her and she.  I know this won’t be easy at first and it’s totally ok if you mess up.  I’d much rather have you mess up and talking to me than afraid to say anything at all.  You can ask me just about anything you want privately, in person, over lunch, via email, on the phone, two months from now, during a walk, over drinks, on my Facebook page, whatever.  Or, we can never speak of this again…it’s totally up to you.  So, other than having a different name and gender, looking different, sounding different, and being way more happy, friendly, and outgoing, I’ll be exactly the same person.

Ok, we’re almost done here.  So I guess I really only have two favors to ask.  The first is that you treat me with the same warmth and respect you show each other every day…nothing more.  The second is that we keep this information to ourselves.  I’m not embarrassed of who I am or what I’ve gone through, but I think I should decide who to tell and when.  We’re all adults and you’re free to behave however you wish, but, when you think about it, this really isn’t anybody else’s business.  It’s your business because I decided to make this change with you, my work family.  And like it or not, we all just entered into a giant, Meet the Parents-style circle of trust…but anyone else needs to earn their way in.

And we’re done!  Thanks for listening.  I’m really excited to see you all on Wednesday, and I hope you enjoy Boss’s magic show!

At this point, I’m pretty sure someone in the audience will start with the slow clap then it will build to a thunderous, standing ovation with a few shouts of “Author!” and some long stemmed rose-throwing mixed in.  What do you guys think?

Mood: Soooo tired
Music: Badly Drawn Boy-How?

Well, would you look at that?  Looks like my frantic blogging pace has finally gotten the better of me.  You knew this would happen though, didn’t you?  You think I’m too flighty to stick to one mode of creative expression for any length of time.  Well, that may be true, but you don’t have to be so smug about it.  Bastard.

In other words, I went to the discussion group thing last night and it was awful…awfully-awesome!  I stayed up pretty late last night so I don’t feel like I can recount last night’s exercise in painfully awkward socialization and wholly inappropriate discussion of medical practice with the humor and rigor it deserves.  Seriously though, when I put it up, you’re going to lol and lol.

In penance for shirking on my commitment to provide fresh, semi-daily, Anna-approved, hot content, I offer the following adorable picture of Badly Drawn Boy demonstrating the London Loving Cup to a young girl in need during the “Year of the Rat” music video (which can be found below and is wonderful and makes me cry fucking buckets every single time I watch it).

https://i2.wp.com/www.videoville.org/wiki/images/1/17/Badly_Drawn_Boy.jpg

A still from "Year of the Rat"

Re: the sentence above, seriously you guys, one day, I’m going to start writing a sentence that will be so long that it will take me the rest of my days to finish and will become my one and only all-consuming passion…and stuff.


an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

copyright

All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

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