Blog, Sweet Blog

Hott Guyz, y’all

Posted on: Thursday, July 30, 2009

Mood: Tired, but bloggy
Music: Anathema-Restless Oblivion

Wow, I’ve been listening to mostly metal and darker stuff (a lot of Anathema) the last few days and we’ve been having the best time!  It’s been a rainy and cold kind of week and I think I’m already packing away summer for fall.  Sorry summer, you had a good run, but we’ve got to move on.    Frankly, I think we’re all a little tired of your heat, your weird volleyball obsession, those skimpy clothes, and the sweaty hair sticking to the forehead.  So, see you next year, summer.  You know the way out, right?

So kittens, the point of this post is not to illustrate my rich fantasy life, nor my love of autumn.  It bothers me that the seasons are not capitalized. No, like the title says, I want to talk about hot guys, er, Hott Guyz, that I’d like to date/marry/snog and the important qualities said hot guy should posses.  To illustrate, here are too many pictures of guys I like and a little description of why I like them.

Noel Fielding-he’s one of the stars of The Mighty Boosh, he’s English, has messy cool hair, he’s very funny…ummm, cool emo skeleton shirt thing? John Cusack-You don’t know who John Cusack is?  Come on, people.  He’s that smart, funny American actor from awesome movies like High Fidelity, Better Off Dead, and Grosse Pointe Blank. Russel Brand-super English, very funny, dead sexy like a gay pirate rocker, messy cool hair (I’m noticing a trend), but I’m not sure that he’s the marrying/stay with a girl more than one day type.
John Krasinski John Krasinski-from The Office and that new, sweet-looking movie with Maya Rudolph.  He’s funny too, has kind of messy hair, and seems like a sweet guy. Jason Lee-Jason, I have been in love with your dopey charm, messy hair (uh-oh), and quick wit since Mallrats, and you just keep getting better.  Heck, I even like the mustache.  I’m calling it right now…they should totally do a Smokey and the Bandit remake and my betrothed can play The Bandit. Ben Affleck-Shut up, I don’t want to hear it, you guys.  I thought he was really good in Jersey Girl and Chasing Amy and he’s charming and good looking, ok? Jason Sudeikis-Finally, a Phil Hartman-esque Saturday Night Live leading man.  It doesn’t hurt that he had a guest run on 30 Rock and that his hair is sorta messy.  Liz Lemon is the crazy…I’d totally move to Cleveland with him.
Jack Black at the Los Angeles premiere of Tenacious D: In the Pick of Destiny  - 11/09/2006Jesse Grant, Sir Jack Black-Again, you may have “opinions” about Mr. Black, but I’m not interested in hearing them.  He’s not bad looking, but he has mega-personality and nuclear wit…mostly messy hair..oh God, I AM that easy! Paul Rudd-Messy hair, messy hair, messy hair…and he’s a Wet Hot American Summer alum. Andy “Messy Hair” Sandberg-I’m kind of an SNL nerd too and I really like the era that started with Andy Sandberg’s arrival…”Laser Cats” and “Lazy Sunday.” Greg Anderson-Dunno if he’s funny or not, but he’s a good-looking beardo, runs Southern Lord Records, and is one half of Sunn O))).  I’m sure his hair is pretty messy. Stephen O’Malley-a.k.a. SOMA and one half of Sunn O))).  A talented graphic artist and musician who rocks a mean Van Dyke and lives in Paris!  Le sigh! Stephen Malkmus-Messy hair from way back, Scrabble-loving, and the incredibly talented songwriter from Pavement and Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks. Seriously, I would marry some of his lyrics…to wit: “the yearling took the purse, the goth kid has a hearse” and “The Hook.”
lovehopehate:  captainoo:  burypockets: BEST PERSON ON FOOD NETWORK, EXCEPT MAYBE ALTON BROWN. GEOFF. I LOVE HIM.   I want to jump his bones. Geof Manthorne-A quiet, dry-witted, messy-haired, sweet, cake-decorating man with the piercing blue-green (hazel?) sex eyes.
Ben Turner-Also from Ace of Cakes.  This isn’t the greatest picture of him, but I assure you, he’s arty, mustachioed, vaguely French-looking, and now.  Seriously, I like his look…like he really looks like he should be from John Water’s Baltimore…in a good way.
Adam Richman Adam Richman-What?  So I watch a lot of foody shows.  I didn’t want to fall in love with Adam Richman.  I have a major problem with competitive eating and it seems like that’s about all he does on Man v. Food.  So, even though I worry about him, he’s got a lot of chubby charm and I’m sure he’d treat a lady right…or at least feed her.

So, if you’re keeping score at home, apparently, I like guys with the brown, messy hair and oodles of personality that are on television or in rock bands. I didn’t know I was so easily pegged.  Which list guy would you rather a) date/marry and b) have a hot, one night, throwdown with*? Are there any non-Pitt/Clooney, glaring omissions?

Tune in next time for Hott Guyz, Y’all II:  The Hott Girlz Edition.

a) a three-way tie between SOMA, Jack Black, and Jason Sudeikis
b) Russel Brand or Ben Turner!

13 Responses to "Hott Guyz, y’all"


Gael Garcia Bernal
Jack White
David Tennant
John Barrowman
Daniel Craig
Eduardo Noriega
James Franco
Hugh Jackman

I used to have a crush on David Bowie and Bryan Ferry, but they’re both starting to show their age. Ditto Alan Rickman. Alas…

I guess I did miss a couple. Boy Christianne, you sure like your men spicy and Latin. Mmm, yes, Hugh Jackman and Alan Rickman ten years ago.

But which of my guys (because they are mine, reowwr!) would you a) and b)?

Hmm… from your choices: a.) I don’t believe in the institution of marriage, so none of the above. b.) Probably Paul Rudd or John Cusak. But I don’t really know. Depends on what kind of sex we’re talking about.

Well, I did say date or marry, but that’s an interesting tidbit, Christianne. And this is a fucking G-rated blog, so of course I mean respectful, heteronormative, missionary-style, sex.

B) would totally be Russell Brand but for A) I’d have to defer to the Hugh Jackman lobby. He just has a larger action committee. *wink*
of course, there’s the scotty scot scotsman Scott Hutchison of Frightened Rabbit and Zach Galifianakis from the “Out Cold” days. grrrr.

Mmmmm, Hugh Jackman…he’s like a delicious man-sundae. Drooling aside, he (Hugh) seems like he’d make an honest woman out of some lucky girl *cough* Becca. And Zach G, zomg girl, I was totally going to add him! He’s 50% schlumpy and 90% the funniest guy working in comedy right now…and that beard!

From *your* list, a) Paul Rudd and, b) Paul Rudd.

Basically, your list should just be 10 different pictures of Paul Rudd.

NICE! Actually, I can make that happen…I have admin privileges at Blog, Sweet, Blog. And who’s missing from the list, fair Jamie?

I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and I’ve come up with at least 4 hotties, any one of whom could replace your entire list on his own. I put their pics on my own blog, so you’ll just have to visit it to find out who they are.

And thus, I brilliantly maintain the net traffic my site requires to keep its Pepsi sponsorship. It probably looks hard, being this brilliant, but amazingly enough I don’t even break a sweat.

Visited and commented, well-played, Miss Ground. Your precious cola sponsorship should remain intact…for now. Mua ha ha!

From your list, Noel Fielding takes a & b, hands down. But if we’re talking rock bands & messy hair, I’d say Nikki Sixx is a fairly serious omission.

I stand by my initial choices (mmm, Russell Brand…the things we could do to each other), but after having seen three seasons of The Mighty Boosh, Noel Fielding does seem like the perfect combination of messy-haired sex god and committed, sensitive, life partner.

Regarding Mr. Sixx, let me begin by saying, “brava, Mrs. Bones. I like your style.” He is still pretty good looking, but I’m not really a fan. I stopped listening to Mötley Crüe after Shout at the Devil and I lost interest soon after. Still though, as far as messy-haired, sexy rockers go, he’s gotta be in the top five.

[…] the other day, I got a comment on my Hott Guyz, Y’all post.  It went something […]

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