Blog, Sweet Blog

Archive for September 2009

Mood: After work-y
Music: Opeth-By the Pain I See in Others


Hi Internets!  I don’t know about where you live, but it is the freezing here in Colorado…literally…like it might snow tonight, freezing.  And I couldn’t be happier.  I’ve mentioned before that I love autumn.  I like winter too (unless it has outstayed its welcome) and something tells me we’re due for a nice, long, junior Ice Age freezup here in the northern Americas.

File:Millais leaves.jpg

It's "Autumn Leaves" by John Everett Millais! I know, it's a bit on the nose, but what is the story with the girls and the leaves? I'm pretty sure they've hidden a freshly butchered corpse in there.

To celebrate the dawn of the northern death cycle, I’ve been listening to loads of grim, frigid metal (mostly Opeth, Katatonia, Lifelover, and Liturgy), and reading dour poetry.  To wit:

1.
The warm sun is failing, the bleak wind is wailing,
The bare boughs are sighing, the pale flowers are dying,
And the Year
On the earth her death-bed, in a shroud of leaves dead,
Is lying.
Come, Months, come away,
From November to May,
In your saddest array;
Follow the bier
Of the dead cold Year,
And like dim shadows watch by her sepulchre.

2.
The chill rain is falling, the nipped worm is crawling,
The rivers are swelling, the thunder is knelling
For the Year;
The blithe swallows are flown, and the lizards each gone
To his dwelling;
Come, Months, come away;
Put on white, black, and gray;
Let your light sisters play–
Ye, follow the bier
Of the dead cold Year,
And make her grave green with tear on tear.

Autumn: A Dirge by Percy Bysshe Shelley

———————————————————————

MY Sorrow, when she’s here with me,
Thinks these dark days of autumn rain
Are beautiful as days can be;
She loves the bare, the withered tree;
She walks the sodden pasture lane.
Her pleasure will not let me stay.
She talks and I am fain to list:
She’s glad the birds are gone away,
She’s glad her simple worsted gray
Is silver now with clinging mist.
The desolate, deserted trees,
The faded earth, the heavy sky,
The beauties she so truly sees,
She thinks I have no eye for these,
And vexes me for reason why.
Not yesterday I learned to know
The love of bare November days
Before the coming of the snow,
But it were vain to tell her so,
And they are better for her praise.

My November Guest by Robert Frost

Other than loving the cold weather and building a proper wicker man with the kitty, things have been quiet and nice.  Last week’s trip to Washington D.C. was lovely, amazing, fun, and draining.  I have a whole lot to say about that trip, but haven’t found the time or motivation to properly bloggy up the stories.   That’s been a theme of late–I’m long on ideas and short on time and motivation.

Oh, and my annual review is tomorrow and I’m kind of excited about it.  It’s hard to believe that I came out to my boss six months ago at my mid-year review.  Hopefully, this one will be more drama free.

So anyway, this is me, checking in, reminding you to love fall, read poetry, and listen to more black metal.

Do you have any dour, autumnal poetry or lyrics you’d like to share?  How do you get ready for the best season of the year?  Which Halloween costume did you decide on?  Why haven’t you picked out a costume yet?!

Mood: You know, Saturday-y
Music: Goodfellas


Hey guys, remember that caption contest I told you about?

Well, I won!

I actually won with my first try(see below).  I didn’t like that one as much because it kind of seemed like an easy joke.  I liked the second one better, but it really pushed the boundaries of pithy caption-ness.  The good news is I totally have them figured out…genital and poopy jokes ad infinitum.  I won a t-shirt and the satisfaction of knowing that I’m an “award winning” writer.  If there’s a quirky blog category for the Pulitzer Prize…well, look out quirky bloggers!

Here’s part of the “funny”, congratulatory note…

Unfortunately after saying that I just realized that it’s impossible for me to lower my mental facilities to that of a brain dead chimpanzee to determine which caption sucked a fraction of a grundle hair less than the rest. Thankfully I have a four year old at my disposal. So congratulations Annahell, a preschooler thinks that for about two seconds you’re caption (below) was slightly more amusing than using his finger to probe the depths of his many orifices.

NOBODY KNOWS I'M FARTING! by annahell

This is the first in a series of caption contests they’re sponsoring.  If I’m not banned, I’m going to submit for the rest of them too.  I’m hoping I can trade the rest of the t-shirts I win for some art prints or a pony.

Mood: Just right
Music: Iron Chef America-Symon vs. Appleman: Battle Suckling Pig


That’s right, I just copied off of myself like I’m Ouroboros snacking on my own tail.  Pretty soon, this blog will cease to be an exercise in pretty word picture painting and will devolve into me, sitting alone, thinking up blog posts that please only me, only reference previous posts of mine, and never get posted.  That’s eerily close to the reality.

What follows is the familiar what-kind-of-wacky-search-terms-are-people-typing-into-search-engines-to-get-to-my-blog trope.  I know, it’s kind of clip show lazy, but maybe we’ll learn something about each other…or…science or something?  Oh, and the search terms are listed below in bold and are followed by my “hilarious and amusing” comments in italics.

blue and brown cake decoratedmmm, no

ben turner ace of cakes wifeI’m not Mr. Turner’s wife (he might be the gay), but thanks for thinking of me

family photo’s of sweeten mum and dadlol, what?

ben turner gaytold you

is geoff manthorne gayI do not posses the answers you seek

punk as fuck patchI like your style, Internet seeker of patches

tiny animals ‘sweet sweetness’ blogspotbest.blog title.ever

“my breasts are out of control”you and me both

exorcismsorry buddy, you got the wrong girl

movies denverI’m Moviefone now?

ben affleck jerk off videothe censors made me take it down

sweet heavy metal blogsthis isn’t, but thank-you

sexy gay bloghow dare you

nerd mustachessorry y’all, that one is my fault

shut up i don’t care what you sayit’s like I’m looking into a mirror

i hate random vlogsme too!

Ok, this isn’t very funny, but “tuxedo maskand other terms involving Sailor Moon’s tuxedo-wearing, man candy are by far the most popular search terms that lead people to mah blog. I put ONE picture of Tuxedo Mask in a post and this is what I get.  Those Sailor Moon kids sure are dedicated.

So, what funny search terms are leading people to your blog/homepage/online Sailor Moon hentai and cosplay boutique?

Ouroboros
Mood: 8.2 on the Rock-o-Meter
Music: The Beatles-Happiness is a Warm Gun


I just posted this to a local arts website’s photo caption contest thing deal…

She: So, you want to bet me five dollars that you can simultaneously donkey-kick jump into the air and lick your shoulder?

Him: Yup.

She: Ugh…really? Is this how I’m spending my Friday nights? How is that even a thing? Why am I friends with you?

Him: K, tell you what…if I lose…you get the five dollars, AND I’ll pose for that photo shoot.

She: You mean “Kitten Me Softly?” The one with the bathtub full of ice cream and the kittens?

Him: Uh-huh

She: Then consider us wagered, future loser.

Hunh?  So is that comedy gold spread on whole wheat toast, or what?  Yeah, I’m not so sure either, but at least I’m “putting it out there” and “getting involved”, you know?  If it helps, the picture was of some guy at a local gallery opening jumping into the air, donkey-kick style, and sticking out his tongue in a way that it looked like he was trying to lick his own shoulder.  I know, Art kids are weird.

OH!!! And Kitten Me Softly is copyrighted and mine forever, so back off!  However, I am willing to collab with some other creative types on an installation, play, musical, painting, performance art piece, or exhibition with that title.  Or, maybe I’ll do another n-part blog essay à la mode de Secret Cheese?

As usual, I’m in the middle of three different blog posts but I can’t be bothered to finish any of them at the mo.  Just so you know, I’m still great and things are pretty awesome.  I’ll try to post some more in the next day or two.

Yours sincerely and etc., your biggest fan,

Anna


an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

copyright

All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

Click the button thing below to have a delicious li'l slice o' Anna cake* delivered to your emails inbox whenever I write something new!

*N.B. Anna cake contains neither Anna nor cake.

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