Blog, Sweet Blog

Archive for January 21st, 2010

Mood: 72% wistful
Music: Phoenix-Fences

Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix by Phoenix

Ok, one more post before the needle craft porn, promise!

So, um, I’m in love with this album.  I know, I’m prolly like the last person to hear it.  I’ve, not intentionally, been keeping my finger far from the pulse of “what is happening” in modern music at the moment (more on that later), but better late than never, right?

I downloaded Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix last week and it seems like I’ve been listening to it over and over since then ( tells a different story, but who are you going to believe?).  And when I’m not listening to it, I’m thinking about it.  And when I’m not thinking about it, I’m having imaginary conversations with it…

Anna: Wow, Phoenix, that was SO amazing!  I love that song!

PHX:  Thanks, Anna!  That’s nice of you to say.

Anna: (staring intently) You have pretty eyes, you know.  I like how they’re kind of a brownish greeney blue…like you’re actually made up of four different people.  And your album cover is pretty too.  It’s like The Gap Band’s “You Dropped a Bomb On Me” with a splash of French flag.  So good!  Wait, how do you say it in France? Tres bonn? (laughs)

PHXOui!  And thanks again.  We are, as you know, made up of four different people.  There’s four of us.  In the band.

Anna:  (continues to stare as if in a trance, then wakes) Hmm?  Oh that’s nice.  So anyway, how do you do it, Phoenix?  How do you write those songs?  How did you get so good at making the songs only I like and want to hear all the time?  Did you take a class or  do a weekend seminar or something?

PHX(uncomfortable) Um…well, we just started writing, and-

Anna:  (forefinger to her mouth) shhh, please don’t speak, sweet Phoenix.  You’re ruining this…beautiful moment we have together.

(crazy laugh)  Ha ha ha! Remember that time I was knitting and you played “Fences” and I started to cry a little bit?

PHX:  No…

Anna:  And remember when “1901” was playing and it reminded me of that time I heard “Countdown (Sick for the Big Sun)” on the bus and I was so happy?  We’ve been through a lot, you and I.  Haven’t we, Phoenix?

PHX:  (backing away) I think we’re going to go…now. (runs away)

Anna:  (runs to the door and yells after them) I LOVE YOU!  I can’t stop listening to you! (falls to her knees) I’m nothing without you!  (crying) Please don’t leave me!!!  (screaming) PHOEEEE-NIX! PHOE-NIX!

…yeah, so you should buy it and stuff, and join me in my crazy.

Mood: Sick Sick Sicks
Music: the menu music from the (500) Days of Summer DVD


Fresh, hot wonderful from the blog, Early Bird Special

Hey guys,

I’m in one of those moods.  I’ve been home sick for the last two days and melancholy, saturnine, lugubrious, and wistful (mostly wistful) for the last 11,680 days…give or take…and super-all-those-adjectives since Friday.

John and I just finished watching (500) Days of Summer and it made me feel ways about things.  I thought it was an ok, not great, movie, but it was inspirational enough for me to be writing about it now in lieu of the post I had planned on the joys of needle craft and the online beauty and wonderment I have recently beheld.  Stay tuned for that.

So, these feelings I’m having are about my life and the way it’s going.  There was a pivotal scene in the movie where the young man decides he’s (spoiler alert) had enough of his dreary, greeting card writing lifestyle and decides to, once and for all and finally, give his dream of architechting architecture a go.  I know, it’s a pretty played-out plot device, but as I was watching, rolling my eyes, I wondered, what would happen if I stopped rolling my eyes for a minute and actually, really tried to follow my dreams?  What would happen if we all did that?

I don’t mean to say we should all quit our jobs, move to Portland, and start an indie love rock band, but what if we found a way to work really hard at the one thing that made us happy?

Why aren’t we doing that, right now?

What are we all afraid of?

Because that’s what it is.  It’s fear.  Fear of…something…is keeping us from opening up that amazing cupcake shop, or going to art school, or spending every single waking moment of every day listening to all the songs we want to hear with the  people we love most in the world.

I’m also not saying that we’re all Emily Dickinson and Georgia O’Keeffe superstars either; most of us are just Annas and Johns and Jennifers and Chris’s and we’re all waiting around for life’s surprise ending.

We may not change the world or get rich with our one passion, but I’ll bet you a breakfast burrito and everything I own that we each have the power to make at least one other person happier.  And if we can do that, then we have a good shot at making two, five, ten, maybe a hundred people happier, if only for a little while.  If you’re able to find a way to combine doing what you love and improving the way we all spend the time we have left, then you win.

I’ve talked a lot recently about how I’m small-stepping my way to these other dreams; but I’m still afraid.

I hate my job.

There, I said it.  I only say that because it’s not for me.  If I was passionate about engineering, every day would be amazing, fulfilling, and rewarding.  But I’m not and it isn’t.  I think I can find a way to limp through it, but I hate lies and that is not a long-term, lie-free solution.  I’m afraid of losing it and being without money and unloved and wholeheartedly committing to the one or two things I actually feel some passion for.  If I put my everything into doing what I love and failed, what would be the point of going on?  I guess the knowledge that I actually, really tried for once would help me pick myself up and learn how to be marginal at a job I didn’t care for.  Maybe that’s good enough?

I don’t know, but I think we all need to spend this year figuring out how to let go and be amazing.

an introduction

Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.


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January 2010