Blog, Sweet Blog

We’ll all be amazing, one day

Posted on: Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mood: Sick Sick Sicks
Music: the menu music from the (500) Days of Summer DVD


Fresh, hot wonderful from the blog, Early Bird Special

Hey guys,

I’m in one of those moods.  I’ve been home sick for the last two days and melancholy, saturnine, lugubrious, and wistful (mostly wistful) for the last 11,680 days…give or take…and super-all-those-adjectives since Friday.

John and I just finished watching (500) Days of Summer and it made me feel ways about things.  I thought it was an ok, not great, movie, but it was inspirational enough for me to be writing about it now in lieu of the post I had planned on the joys of needle craft and the online beauty and wonderment I have recently beheld.  Stay tuned for that.

So, these feelings I’m having are about my life and the way it’s going.  There was a pivotal scene in the movie where the young man decides he’s (spoiler alert) had enough of his dreary, greeting card writing lifestyle and decides to, once and for all and finally, give his dream of architechting architecture a go.  I know, it’s a pretty played-out plot device, but as I was watching, rolling my eyes, I wondered, what would happen if I stopped rolling my eyes for a minute and actually, really tried to follow my dreams?  What would happen if we all did that?

I don’t mean to say we should all quit our jobs, move to Portland, and start an indie love rock band, but what if we found a way to work really hard at the one thing that made us happy?

Why aren’t we doing that, right now?

What are we all afraid of?

Because that’s what it is.  It’s fear.  Fear of…something…is keeping us from opening up that amazing cupcake shop, or going to art school, or spending every single waking moment of every day listening to all the songs we want to hear with the  people we love most in the world.

I’m also not saying that we’re all Emily Dickinson and Georgia O’Keeffe superstars either; most of us are just Annas and Johns and Jennifers and Chris’s and we’re all waiting around for life’s surprise ending.

We may not change the world or get rich with our one passion, but I’ll bet you a breakfast burrito and everything I own that we each have the power to make at least one other person happier.  And if we can do that, then we have a good shot at making two, five, ten, maybe a hundred people happier, if only for a little while.  If you’re able to find a way to combine doing what you love and improving the way we all spend the time we have left, then you win.

I’ve talked a lot recently about how I’m small-stepping my way to these other dreams; but I’m still afraid.

I hate my job.

There, I said it.  I only say that because it’s not for me.  If I was passionate about engineering, every day would be amazing, fulfilling, and rewarding.  But I’m not and it isn’t.  I think I can find a way to limp through it, but I hate lies and that is not a long-term, lie-free solution.  I’m afraid of losing it and being without money and unloved and wholeheartedly committing to the one or two things I actually feel some passion for.  If I put my everything into doing what I love and failed, what would be the point of going on?  I guess the knowledge that I actually, really tried for once would help me pick myself up and learn how to be marginal at a job I didn’t care for.  Maybe that’s good enough?

I don’t know, but I think we all need to spend this year figuring out how to let go and be amazing.

4 Responses to "We’ll all be amazing, one day"

If I may be so bold as to proffer an opinion, you are a reflective and sensitive person! And I think that the feeling of fear would effect you more than other feelings…

I know for my part that I’m afraid I couldn’t provide for my children if I followed my dream. But I know that my overarching fear concerns my failure at this: my safety profession!

Yes! It may suck to fail at your dreams, but how much more sucktastic would it be to fail at a compromise!

I can’t end on such a pessimistic note, because I care so much for you– I can only offer the advice a wise person offered me: be the best-case scenario!

Thank you, you dear, sweet man! I do try to be best-case-scenario Anna, but it can be really hard sometimes, you know? I guess it’s a small consolation that my body is very good at telling me that I’m going in the wrong direction. Then again, existential-crisis-induced panic, vertigo, and fatigue can be a bit, how do you say, taxing?

I wasn’t talking about you in particular, but let’s talk about you for a second, Big Johnny McJohnJohn. I’m not sure where having children rated on your initial ten step plan to take over the world, but you are very, very good at being a daddy. So, by the logic of my latest, late-night feeling safari, you are making two little people very happy and therefore, you are winning. I think you can find a way to keep winning at fatherhood, make big bucks at a “safety profession” job, and still work on the thing you’re most passionate about. Yes, failing at compromise would be horrible, but the good thing about compromise is that there are many ways to settle and one is usually as good as any other.

I have the burden and gift of being loosely tethered to my life, so it’s a lot easier for me to make sweeping statements about living your dreams and following your heart. I realize it’s not as easy for everyone. Regardless, I’d love to talk about this a lot more with you offline.

Talk it, live it, love it — both online and off!

This being your blog, here’s some more about you:

I read on Slashdot that a startup in your area of specialty went public today after only three months — and your work contributes to a very important context of a very cool tech! But it’s also fricking hard to do and you’re just getting started! I’m very excited for your potential in any endeavor you are currently interested in, and I believe in you 100%!

[…] this the other day when I was home sick, which is why I made reference to it here and showed some here. Let’s just pretend like this is a Blog, Sweet Blog time machine ride to the not-so-distant […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

an introduction

Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.


All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

Click the button thing below to have a delicious li'l slice o' Anna cake* delivered to your emails inbox whenever I write something new!

*N.B. Anna cake contains neither Anna nor cake.

Join 4 other followers

sorted into tiny boxes


i’ve been listening to…

favorite artists this week

flickr photos

mah numbas

  • 45,734 hits
January 2010
%d bloggers like this: