Blog, Sweet Blog

Archive for March 2010

Mood: Has the time for the “mood” tag passed?
Music: Acid House Kings-Will You Love Me in the Morning?


My little one, Torrie, as a very young, web-saavy cat.



Remember when I told you luverly peoples about my old college website yesterday? Well, these are the graphics I made for it!  Just look at them…now, I’m no professional website designer, but I’m pretty sure people don’t use powder blue, blue blue, light pink, hot pink, and melon red as the stars of any website’s palette.  They’re all kind of washed out and seem to make the reading “challenging.”  They’re also twee as fuck and reminiscent of a twelve year old Hello Kitty fan’s design aesthetic.  Regardless, I did and do love these colors and I still like looking at these little experiments in Photoshoppery.



So, this first one (up there) was the banner for my links page; shocking, no?  I called it “Hot Links” because I thought it sounded clever and because I think I was aiming for that crucial, hot dog lover demographic.  I was also a lot more into fonts back then.  I forget the name of that one, but it’s round and fun looking.


It hate to be all Angela-from-The-Office, you guys, but I fucking love cats.  More importantly, I love my cat and that seems like justification enough for a whole web page devoted to her and her kitten-y exploits.  Oooh!  I should pull up the text from that page and post it, riveting! Again, notice the weird font and the fact that it is different from the previous font.  I knew then that sites should have a consistent look and feel, but I just wanted to use a bunch of crazy fonts all over the place!





Hmm, not really sure what I used the pink and red hearts border for.  I mean, it’s awesome, but still…myserious.  It might have been a border for all the Jack-in-his-underwear shots on the Jack Black mash book page.  Maybe it’s some kind of code?  I guess we’ll never know.

Awww, wook at da wittle staws and hawts and snowfwakes! Ugh, so cute!  Again, not sure what I used it for (a header?) but it definitely belongs in the Hall of Cute.



I don’t care what you guys say, I love the old Blog, Sweet Blog logo and I’m seriously considering bringing it out of retirement.  The picture was from, of all things, a haunted house photo shoot I was on.  All of the pictures turned out to be an awful mess mystery, but I liked the stars hanging from the ceiling in this one.  Except for the new, different font (Bauhaus something?) it looks like it fits in with the rest of the site.



And finally, this little beauty is from the header I designed for Dr. John Clark’s comp sci ethics class, CSC 4735-Computers, Society, & Ethics.  We had to create a blog for the class and post a weekly bit on whatever ethical topics struck our fancy that week.  No, I won’t be reposting those. It was a fun assignment and I tied it in with the rest of my site and personal blog.  Wacky font with hearts for dots + Rodin’s The Thinker = Best College Ethics Blog Banner ever!

What did your college ethics blog graphics look like?  How have you incorporated Auguste Rodin’s work into your web sites?

Mood: Is it Friday afternoon yet?
Music: Camera Obscura-Suspended From Class


the view from home

the view from home by anna hell



O hai internet friends!

I may have mentioned it before, but I recently perfected my home NAS setup and I have been doing a lot of joy riding in the way back machine, adding older pictures to my flickr account and thinking about migrating posts from my old blog site.

I had a web site in college back in the early Naughties.  The site consisted of weird experiments in hand-coded HTML, pictures of Jack Black in his underwear, and handmade site graphics.  I’ll share more later, but here’s the link to one of my favorite posts from days gone by…

The College Years: The Great Sandwich Conspiracy



I’ll just be posting the links becuase I to pretend like these posts were always part of Blog, Sweet Blog, so they should be cataloged accordingly.

If you’re just too damn busy to read the whole thing (I never was pithy), here’s a highlight…

Having survived the Safeway peanut butter crisis, I completed my shopping and made my way up to the checkout. I chose a line with an older woman on the cash register and a young kid (maybe 16 or 17) on bagging detail. When my peanut butter and jelly came up for bagging, the kid said to me, “Aha! It appears that you have fallen prey to The Great Sandwich Conspiracy!” The checker and I both ignored him. The kid waited until I had completed my grocery transaction when he hit me again.

him: Pardon me, but do you realize you have fallen prey to The Great Sandwich Conspiracy?

me: What on Earth are you talking about?

him: I see you have purchased both Jif peanut butter and Smuckers jelly. Don’t you see? Jif and Smuckers are both owned by the same company. It’s a sandwich conspiracy!

me: That’s great kid, really, but have you ever noticed that Jif and Smuckers are the most prominently featured products in that aisle? It wouldn’t be too crazy to suggest that Safeway is in league with the makers of Jif and Smuckers…perhaps they are all owned by the same company!

him:
Why Madame, if that’s true, I’ll eat my hat!



LOL, the old days were fun, weren’t they? Then there’s some more dialogue about Superman and Lois Lane, a thrilling comparison between Peter Pan and Jif peanut butters and a sweet picture of a lion, I think…maybe a car chase.  You should totally read the whole thing!

I hope you enjoy this little slice of Blog, Sweet Blog history.  I’ll try to repost the better ones (look for the friendly, The College Years prefix), but you should really read them all, because…well… that’s what Internet friends do, right?

Mood: Cagey
Music: Camera Obscura-I Need All the Friends I Can Get



I sure wish my job was Internetting, because I’d be sooooo productive, all the time.  I should be cleaning (or otherwise getting ready for my sis to come over) right now, but I thought I’d share some of my recent Goodwill finds instead.

I went there in search of a flower vase or two, some picture frames, and scrap fabric for embroidering.  I ended up with that and a little bit more and spent like $50!  Et voila!

all the granny's in the house say yay-yeah!



Ok, so when exactly do you start turning into your mother/grandmother?  If I’m remembering my childhood correctly, my maternal grandmother had loads of these Hummel pictures around her house.  I liked them when I was little because they were kind of cute and, hey, if my grandmother liked them, they had to be awesome, right?  I grew up and left these in childhood because they were a bit too cutesy.   They had like five of these in the store that day.  Most of them were the ultra cute, Precious Moments-style drawings.  These two little darlings caught my eye because they’re so bleak and raw, like they were drawn sometime between the Great Depression and the rise of Nazi Germany.

found landscape art



This one caught my eye because it’s faded and a little sad, like somebody loved it in the early 70’s then gave up on it.  I have no idea where it’s from, but it could be Colorado somewhere.  I was talking to a friend of mine about this picture and I mentioned how I liked it because it seemed sad.  I realized I say that a lot about the art I like. You don’t have to have a D. Psy. to figure that one out, but I’m often drawn to the wistful and gloomy.  I realize that not a lot of other people are and I feel kind of weird citing that as a reason to like anything.

so many frames, just waiting to be filled



Did somebody mention frames?  I mainly bought these to fill with embroidery pieces that I have yet to finish, but I might also use them for general decorating.  The next piece I’m going to do (an embroidery of this) will be bigger than these, maybe 11″x14″, but these will be nice for a low commitment piece when I get tired of working on the big stuff.  Maybe this will finally find a home?

I did manage to find some fabric for embroidering and two vases, but they’re not really worth a picture.  Do you like thrift stores?  What do you like to shop for when you’re in one?

id somebody mention frames
Mood: Yay Springtime!
Music: Bauhaus-The Man With The X-Rays Eyes


party in the air by anna hell


So, like I said, I have encountered nought but a string of clueless, mouth breathing, dimwits on the Internet since John and I broke up.  Sorry, that sounds mean.  I meant to say, I’ve been meeting a lot of  quivering, lumpy, shit-for-brains, fucktards who don’t know the difference between a fuckin’ lady and wet towel-snapping their bro’s pasty, middle aged, wake-me-up-when-you’re-done-having-sex-with-me-you-boring-wanker ass online lately. What, too much?

It’s my own fault, really.  I assume that showing a straight guy any interest, pre-surgery, is a waste of time and will mostly end in tears.  So I sit and wait to pounce upon whichever gentleman of quality happens to stop by my online love shack. Sadly, very few suitable suitors do…stop by my shack, that is.

The less suitable suitors send me these dumb letters or try to instant message me.  I think this bit from my online dating profile clears up my feelings on both…

Send me a message if…

…actually, don’t instant message me at all, I kind of hate it. But feel free to send me a thoughtful, interesting letter if you think you’re not a dullard, have something in common with me, and aren’t going to waste my time.

Ok, that sounds harsh. I’m actually a nice girl, but you’d be surprised at the amount of people who are really into me right up until they read my profile or who are wholly incapable of expressing themselves with words. I like words. I like people who know how to use words. I really like wordy people who really like me 🙂

Keep that in mind.  I loathe instant messaging (there are exceptions) and I really like people who know their way around the words.  Here’s a recent letter…

Hi gorgeous….How are you today?

Yep, that was the whole letter.  I suddenly had a case of the bitchy regrets, so I sent a him a non-committal reply…

Fine, thanks.

To which he replied, a week later…

Hi gorgeous…Anna…

Such wordsmith… -ery? -ing? -inosis? I kind of wanted to mail him my panties with the words, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” scrawled on the backside in gold glitter nail polish.  But then I thought of the children, and my mother.  Neither would approve.

I also get…

interesting story. wanna chat?

Not in the slightest, but I thank you for asking! And…

Very attractive. I read your profile and like it. I also like that you are bisexual. I think bisexual women make the best lovers. Would like to hear from you.

Hmm, where should I start.  No.  Gross?  What?  Really? Actually, that one had a sort of European, man-whore, bravado, charm to it.  But still, no.  Another?

Nice pic and profile, would be nice to get to know you. sorry i am not writing more at the moment, i have to crash lol, its really late 😦

Aww, thanks for writing, Sunshine.  Tell your Mom I said hi!

Another guy keyed in on my one line profile joke about working in a secret government lab, because all of us enginerds do. He was cute and had a very good profile, so I indulged him…

Him: was it the san dimas lab or were you out in NM? Not that I know anything 🙂

Me: No, not that one, but I have been to Los Alamos! I work for another, non-secret lab in Colorado 🙂 You profile reminds me of mine…long, interesting, wordy, partly in French…ok maybe not French, but complex and interesting.

Him: well you have to make yourself stand out somehow in this crazy world! So what were you up to at these labs of ours? I have no desire to ever be attached to any of these establishments but then again how else am I going to get cool stories to tell at the watering holes when I am old and decrepit? 🙂

Me: I went to Los Alamos as side trip during a Santa Fe vacation. I’m an engineer at a lab here. We do communications research.

Him: So did you have a TS security clearance?

Me: ???

I think he was trying to offer me a job or recruit me for…something.  Even though my profile says I’m looking for “new friends”, it’s a lie.  I’m really looking for my other half.  I’ll take friendship as a consolation prize or as the start of passionate love affair, but shooting the breeze about our national research infrastructure doesn’t seem like fun to me and those aren’t the kind of friends I’m looking for.

And finally, this guy…

Him:  Do you believe in in monogomy? I’m naive, I admit it!

Me:  I guess I believe in realistic monogamy. I don’t think humans are really programmed to be with one person for their entire lives, but I am still looking for a long-term, non-cheating relationship with a single person. Why, what do you believe?

Him:  Well, I’m heterosexual, so I just didn’t know if it’s easier for me to be monogamous than you as a person attracted to both sex’s. I guess I believe unlike you that it IS possible to be with one person your entire life…at least that’s what I hope for! (:

Me:  As far as I know, there is no correlation between sexuality and monogamy. Regardless, I’m trying to find that one person as well.

Him:  So what do [sic] like most/worst about dating? (:

Me: *click*

He should have known I’d had enough by my second response; I tend to drop the science and the big words when I get mad.  Then again, he prolly should have known not to assume that bisexuality is on par with worshiping the devil, genocide, and smothering puppies.

Hrrm, this is getting to be extra-long and, unfortunately, there’s more to share.  How’s about we meet back here next time?  We can talk about the “winkers” and online dating Do’s and Don’ts (ok, mostly Don’ts) next time!

Mood: Feistytired
Music: Descendents-M16


glittering, savory by anna hell



Well, I’m back from Las Vegas, a few dollars poorer, but richer for the experience, insert your own cliché.  More on that later, promise.  In the meantime, let’s talk about about some recent goings-on with my ex.

So, if you’re just tuning in, I broke up with my first, post-transition boyfriend at the end of January.  I was/have been kind of sad about it, but these things happen.  I feel loads better now and I suppose this is as good a “writer’s experience” as any.  We traded a few hurtful emails for a week after breaking up, but I hadn’t contacted him or heard from him since then.  He sent me a hey! what’s new? email, apropos of nothing, last Monday.  That was weird all by itself, but the fact that he made me feel like he was just catching up with an old friend after a few weeks apart instead of randomly pinging a person who’d had feelings for him and who had willingly touched his penis made it seem extra awkward.

We have a history, him and I, officially.  We didn’t part on the greatest of terms and we certainly didn’t agree to remain friends.  Throughout my life, I’ve observed a strict as-soon-as-we-break-up-I-don’t-want-to-see-you-or-hear-from-you-or-think-about-you-ever-again-seriously policy.  I started to reevaluate that with my previous ex.  It seemed wrong to cut out such an important part of my life.  I’m beginning to believe that these people’s presence in my life is/has been meaningful and necessary.  I think learning to value that is better than hiding from pain. I relayed my newfound love for ex-loves to him in a meagbitchy, accusatory way…

[Redacted],

I know you’re “not trying to ‘sell’ anything” but you contacting me out of the blue, like nothing ever happened is weird for me and a little hard to deal with.  I haven’t contacted you since we broke up because I didn’t want to talk to you, not because I felt like I had to stay away or give you space.  Are you trying, in some ham-fisted, obtuse way to say that you want to be friends?  I don’t know, maybe.

For the record, I love emails.  I sent you a lot of them, remember?  I don’t care for text messaging, but it has its place and I like them even better if they’re a precursor to a phone call.  I’m kind of meh on the Skype thing with you.  If you want to talk to me, why don’t we just get coffee or something?  I can like throw a rock at your house and it seems totally absurd to use Skype if we don’t have to.

Regards and such,


Anna



Ugh.  I think I could have managed a nicer, more diplomatic response but I am a woman scorned and them’s my feelings, y’all.

I’m not opposed to being friends with him, but our history gets in the way.  I’m funny…it’s like I hold my friends to a higher standard of behavior than my lovers.  So, where a boyfriend’s inability to express himself is merely annoying (at first, anyway) it can be the reason to end a friendship.  His foibles were charming and tolerable when we were intimate, but now they’re all dealbreakers.

If you haven’t guessed, his awkward attempt to reach out/make me crazy/whatever totally rubbed me the wrong way.  Combine that with the online dating winners I’ve encountered recently (oh, just you wait, my pretties) and I kind of feel like giving up on guys.  Are all of them developmentally disabled when it comes to expressing themselves?  Is this how it’s going to be?  Like, if you’re interested in me and want me in your life, is a little wooing with the nice words too much to ask for?  Apparently.  I haven’t heard back from him.

Maybe it’s me?  Maybe my pre-surgery standards are too high?  Maybe I am the megabitch ice queen who’s incapable of settling and doomed to a multi-cat spinsterhood?  I wish I knew, Internets.  If I did, I’d just go ahead and adopt another kitty right now.

I think it’s more likely that I’m a complex, complicated, somewhat damaged, skittish, too-smart-for-her-own-good girl who will find her other half, eventually.


an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

copyright

All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

Click the button thing below to have a delicious li'l slice o' Anna cake* delivered to your emails inbox whenever I write something new!

*N.B. Anna cake contains neither Anna nor cake.

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