Blog, Sweet Blog

Archive for the ‘ah! melody’ Category

Mood: Drunken, drifting
Music: The Smiths-These Things Take Time




Still wrestling, but closer.

In the meantime, here’s something that I wrote for mah tuumblr today.  It doesn’t even begin to cover the unfathomable, depraved spectacle of my love for Messrs. Moz and Marr, but it’s a nice primer.  Here’s a thought; why don’t they have a The Smiths karaoke here?  I would sing And the hills are alive with celibate cries and You said I was ill, and you were not wrong and Oh, the alcoholic afternoons over and over again until they asked me to leave every week.  I can imagine the people that would show up for that; oh the friends I’d make! Anyway…

Ooops, I didn’t mean to let that other Mr. Moz picture leak, but I always do that.  I get an idea and hunt for the pictures then, inevitably, forget to tag one of them as a draft.  Sorry I spoiled the Wednesday Morrissey theme for you.

So, this theme is now a tumblr thing because I saw this photo a while ago at Twist & Shout.  I was looking through the goth and metal bins at the back of the store and I happened upon a four foot tall version of the Years of Refusal album cover.  I gasped. I hadn’t really seen the picture up close or that size and the juxtaposition of that old, beautiful man holding a smiling baby made me weak.  At the time, I thought, “Good God, will he never stop being handsome?”  And then I thought, “Yes Steven, yes.  I will. I do.”

Look, I know all about his “celibacy” and it matters not.  In my fantasy, we live with our five children (James, Oscar, Sylvia, William, Judith, and Peter) in a large estate just outside of Paris and he is my faithful companion and occasional lover.  We go for long walks and dine in fine restaurants.  He reads me poetry and asks me to look over new song lyrics.  I create sad, beautiful gallery art and weekly beg him for a Smiths reunion.  I realize that he has other interests and I let him do who he pleases provided he returns to me and never knowingly hurts me.  So, pretty standard Morrissey fantasy.

And so, in honor of Morrissey’s beauty and rich fantasy lives everywhere, I offer you the following photoset…

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Mood: le sigh
Music: Memory Tapes-Treeship



As you all know, this isn’t one of them America’s Funnest Video Blogs and I try not to make a habit of reposting videos.  However, sometimes a heartbreaking work of staggering video genius reveals itself to me and I am compelled share its wonders with you, my magical Internet friends.  Behold!


Need some motivation to get crafty?  Leslie Hall can make that shit happen, y’all.





Finally, the secret connection between cats, keyboards, stabby things, and police training videos is revealed!




And finally, a video essay on how I spent my summer vacation that one time…


You are the welcome.

Mood: 72% wistful
Music: Phoenix-Fences


https://i1.wp.com/p.playme.com/cspv/82-85-61-30-00-MetaPreview-Cover-JPEG256x256/phoenix/wolfgang-amadeus-phoenix.jpg

Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix by Phoenix



Ok, one more post before the needle craft porn, promise!

So, um, I’m in love with this album.  I know, I’m prolly like the last person to hear it.  I’ve, not intentionally, been keeping my finger far from the pulse of “what is happening” in modern music at the moment (more on that later), but better late than never, right?

I downloaded Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix last week and it seems like I’ve been listening to it over and over since then (last.fm tells a different story, but who are you going to believe?).  And when I’m not listening to it, I’m thinking about it.  And when I’m not thinking about it, I’m having imaginary conversations with it…

Anna: Wow, Phoenix, that was SO amazing!  I love that song!

PHX:  Thanks, Anna!  That’s nice of you to say.

Anna: (staring intently) You have pretty eyes, you know.  I like how they’re kind of a brownish greeney blue…like you’re actually made up of four different people.  And your album cover is pretty too.  It’s like The Gap Band’s “You Dropped a Bomb On Me” with a splash of French flag.  So good!  Wait, how do you say it in France? Tres bonn? (laughs)

PHXOui!  And thanks again.  We are, as you know, made up of four different people.  There’s four of us.  In the band.

Anna:  (continues to stare as if in a trance, then wakes) Hmm?  Oh that’s nice.  So anyway, how do you do it, Phoenix?  How do you write those songs?  How did you get so good at making the songs only I like and want to hear all the time?  Did you take a class or  do a weekend seminar or something?

PHX(uncomfortable) Um…well, we just started writing, and-

Anna:  (forefinger to her mouth) shhh, please don’t speak, sweet Phoenix.  You’re ruining this…beautiful moment we have together.

(crazy laugh)  Ha ha ha! Remember that time I was knitting and you played “Fences” and I started to cry a little bit?

PHX:  No…

Anna:  And remember when “1901” was playing and it reminded me of that time I heard “Countdown (Sick for the Big Sun)” on the bus and I was so happy?  We’ve been through a lot, you and I.  Haven’t we, Phoenix?

PHX:  (backing away) I think we’re going to go…now. (runs away)

Anna:  (runs to the door and yells after them) I LOVE YOU!  I can’t stop listening to you! (falls to her knees) I’m nothing without you!  (crying) Please don’t leave me!!!  (screaming) PHOEEEE-NIX! PHOE-NIX!

…yeah, so you should buy it and stuff, and join me in my crazy.

Mood: I’m a rocker.  I’m rocking out.
Music: The Runaways-Cherry Bomb


We will cut you.


My dearest Internets,

How are you?  I am fine.  Camp is a lot of fun and I am having the best summer!

Jk, but seriously, Internets, I am fine and most any summer camp (computer, horse, macramé knife-fighting)would be a lot of fun.

I have some links and commentary to share, but I wanted to catch up on those New Year’s resolutions we talked about last time.  How are you doing with yours?  Mine are off to a decent start.  I actually exercised for the first time since surgery yesterday.  It was a short, mega-freezing walk, but it felt good to be outside again.  And I took the bus this morning!  Hooray pub transpo sys! It was hard to wake up on time after so long, but I think this whole bus thing is going to work out, y’know? That’s about all I’ve got so far.  I need to find some way to cata-blog all of these New Year’s achievements…perhaps a Blog, Sweet Blog achievement toteboard? Is that too much? Too crazy?

In other news, I seem to have arrived at a strange confluence of heavy music news and links and I want to share them with you all, of course.

-The Runaways are awesome (and will cut you if you don’t watch it) and they’re making a sort of borderline-horrible movie about them.  I think it’s because I’m getting more old and crotchety by the hour, but I kind of hate the way they cut movie trailers these days.  Like, either they make four different trailers that make a movie seem like it’s a wacky comedy, a crime thriller, a documentary on the British aristocracy, and an adorable romantic comedy.  Or, in the case of this trailer, they make it seem like The Runaways invented polio and then cured it.  They’re certainly important and awesome, but yeesh, enough with the “in a world” gravitas already.

-Yesterday, Little Big John John Johnny Cakes told me about Hideous Gnosis: A Black Metal Theory Symposium and I had thoughts about things.  I replied to him, thusly…

I’m not really sure what to make of the Black Metal Symposium.  My first impulse is, “if academics are studying it, it’s time to get out.”  The academics could just be highly educated fans, but the idea of shining the light on a form of expression that, by its very nature, defies analysis and rejects exposure, seems kind of ridiculous.  And why not other metal subgenres?  There are thematic connections and a great deal of overlap between black metal and doom, death, viking/pagan, etc.  I think the answer is that black metal is really popular right now and has become a shorthand buzzword for people to latch onto.  Speaking of, there’s a documentary coming out about two of the major/most controversial BM artists from Norway.  I heard an interview with the filmmakers, but it left me feeling like people are way too interested in black metal at the moment.

Still, I’m going to read the material on the site and listen to the lectures before I offer a formal, Blog, Sweet Blog opinion.  There’s already been some excellent commentary on the topic here.

I do have one quick comment though.  Phrases like, “Representing textual significance as a plenitude…” put me on the lookout for further academic douchebaggery.  I’m not a liberal-arts academic, but I am somewhat familiar with academic papers on electrical/communications engineering.  Maybe it’s a cultural difference, but it seems like I almost never encounter language like that in the scholarly papers of my field.  It seems like we try to write as simply as possible and let the data and figures speak for themselves.  It seems like I see a lot of overwrought, near-baroque word usage in artist’s statements too and they always make me feel like they’re just having a laugh.  But, as I said, this could be a cultural difference and an encouraged form of academic expression within the liberal arts academic community.

Regardless of my eventual opinion on the merits of the symposium, I think it’s great that outsiders and metal fans are talking about music that I love.

“Until the Light Takes Us’ is that documentary I was talking about above.  It’s playing at Starz on January 29th, hooray! I listened to an interview with the filmmakers on The Sound of Young America podcast a while ago and, let’s just say, the filmmakers did not inspire me to see their film.  They started off the interview by saying they weren’t fans of black metal and only got into it via the owner of Aquarius Records (a tiny wonder of an amazing record store in San Francisco).  I think that’s +1 to the theory that black metal has attained some unexplained, hipster cachet these days.

That statement also gave me pause because I think the quality of documentaries has really gone down over the past five or ten years.  It seems like I’ve seen a lot of pointless, haphazard documentaries over the past year (We Jam Econo, Helvetica, Beautiful Losers).  I think there are too many documentary filmmakers flooding my movie screens with mediocrity.  I’m going to see the movie, but it seems far from the documentary I was hoping for.

-Also, apparently, there are death metal roosters…



-Deathklok is still really funny/brutal…



-Finally, Colorado had a thriving punk/new-wave scene in the 70’s and 80’s (Wax Trax! started here, y’know) and this site will tell you all about it.

Best wishes and etc., your biggest fan,

Dr. Annabelle Lies

Mood: Confused, also dazed
Music: The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath a Cloud-Untitled


So, the other day, I got a comment on my Hott Guyz, Y’all post.  It went something like…

From your list, Noel Fielding takes a & b, hands down. But if we’re talking rock bands & messy hair, I’d say Nikki Sixx is a fairly serious omission.

To which I replied…

I stand by my initial choices (mmm, Russell Brand…the things we could do to each other), but after having seen three seasons of The Mighty Boosh, Noel Fielding does seem like the perfect combination of messy-haired sex god and committed, sensitive, life partner.

Regarding Mr. Sixx, let me begin by saying, “brava, Mrs. Bones. I like your style.” He is still pretty good-looking, but I’m not really a fan. I stopped listening to Mötley Crüe after Shout at the Devil and I lost interest soon after. Still though, as far as messy-haired, sexy rockers go, he’s gotta be in the top five.

Mrs. Bones really got me thinking, though.  Who are these Hott Rocks Guyz, y’all?  What are the qualities I look for in a hott rocks guy(z)?  Is it strictly messy hair or can a talented, sensitive songwriter/musician also get into my pants?  What’s the deal with all the rocking out with the cock out?  Is there an age limit?  Are there any Hott Rocks Girlz that would make the list?  Will Nikki Sixx remain in the top five?  Do any of you understand that I’m referring to my favorite Sleater-Kinney album (The Hot Rock) when I use the term, “hott rocks guyz”?



I suppose you do now, but seriously, it’s a great album…really.  Go buy it from a “record” store or download a digital copy from wherever it is the kids are doing that sort of thing nowadays with the computers and whatnot. Amway, the answers to these questions may surprise you/be found a little bit below this sentence.

I gave this all a lot of thought and put these questions to my friend Wendy one late night after a super succesful shopping excursion.  Which Hott Rocks Guyz would you  do it with? Who would never make the list?  Are there any second-tier Rock Guyz that you might take pity on at the end of the night (see Mayhaps)? Hours later, we had the perfect, exhaustive list of music/artist type-people we’d totally “do it” with.  These aren’t in any particular order and I’ve provided the band names for some of the Guyz if they seem obscure.  I wish I could find pictures of all these guys, but that would take a few minutes less than forever and I have a job and a life and stuff.  Just take my word for it.  There were a few disagreements and those have been italicized for your reading pleasure.  Annotated commentary is provided as appropriate.  As always, comments are appreciated/encouraged.

To the list!

Come to Momma

Ew

Mayhaps

Chris Cornell, Soundgarden

Dave Grohl!!!

Anthony Keidis

Weezer 1

Glenn Danzig 2

Henry Rollins

Noel Gallagher 3

Liam Gallagher 3

Thurston Moore, Sonic Youth

Lee Renaldo, Sonic Youth

Kurt Cobain 4

Morrissey, Morrissey, Morrissey 5

the rest of The Smiths

Lemmy Kilmister, Mötörhead 6

Zakk Wylde

LL Cool J!!!!

Tracii Guns, LA Guns 7

Blackie Lawless, WASP 7

Nikki Sixx

Tommy Lee

James Iha, Smashing Pumpkins

David Vanian, The Damned 8

Davey Havok, AFI 8

Mick Jagger 9

Roger Daltrey

James Hetfield

Nick Cave 8

most of Duran Duran 10

Mark Robinson, Unrest  11

Rick Springfield 10

Ian McCulloch

Mikael Åkerfeldt, Opeth

Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age

Peter Murphy 8

Lil John 12

Conor Oberst

Robert Plant

Wayne Coyne, The Flaming Lips

Elvis Costello

Paul McCartney 13

George Harrison 13

Robbie Williams

Scott Weiland, Stone Temple Pilots

Ian Astbury, The Cult 8

Philip Oakey, The Human League

Iggy Pop 14

Blixa Bargeld 8

Lux Interior 8

Sam Beam, Iron and Wine

Mark Lannegan, Screming Trees

Greg Dulli, Afghan Whigs

King Buzzo, Melvins 15

Rozz Williams, Christian Death 8

Jason Hammel, Mates of State

Lou Barlow, Sebadoh

David Bowie

Brendan Perry, Dead Can Dance 8

Dean Ween

Genesis P. Orridge 16

Chris Carter, Throbbing Gristle

Peter Christopherson 17

John Balance 17

Ted Leo

Bruce Dickinson, Iron Maiden

most of Bad Religion

Joe Strummer

Ian Curtis

Usher

Neil Diamond 8

all of New Order

Boyd Rice

Douglas P., Death in June 17

Dr. Dre

Stephen Malkmus

the rest of Pavement

Johnny Cash 8

Jay Z 18

The Beastie Boys 1

Robert Smith 19

Billy Idol

Jim Morrison

U2 1

Matthew Sweet

Trent Reznor 20

Stephen Stapleton, NWW

Paul Weller, The Jam 10

Terry Hall, The Specials, et al. 21

Momus 22

Flava Flav

Ronnie James Dio

Tad Doyle, TAD

Mick Jagger 9

Johnny Rotten

Sid Vicious 23

Mick Jones, The Clash

John Lennon

Ringo Starr

Mark Arm, Mudhoney 24

David Yow

The Grateful Dead 1

Flea 25

Perry Farrell, Jane’s Addiction

Hüsker Dü 26

The Stray Cats

Social Distortion 27

Lars Ulrich 28

Neil Young

Bob Dylan

Meatloaf

Journey 1

Air Supply

Michael Stipe

Moby

Billy Corgan

The Ramones

most of the Pixies

the rest of Mötörhead

Shane McGowan, The Pogues

Axl Rose

Black Sabbath 1

Frank Zappa

Les Claypool

Venom 1

Bobby Liebling, Pentagram

Geddy Lee, Rush

David Lee Roth 29

Chris Novaselic, Nirvana

Andrew Eldritch 31

Slash 30

Pete Townsend 31

Mark E. Smith, The Fall 31

Badly Drawn Boy

DJ Shadow 31

Leonard Cohen

Cliff Burton 31

Mac McCaughn

Lou Reed 31

Devo

Ian MacKaye 31

Jack White 31

David Tibet 31

Michael Gira, Swans 31

Rob Zombie

Jimmy Page


======================================================

1 yep, all of ’em

2 Wendy says he’s really short, but in the fantasy world where I actually sleep with Danzig, he’s like, 6’1″.

3 At the same time, maybe?

4 I can’t remember which of us passed on Kurt…I’m ambivalent.

5 No, I don’t care that Morrissey is, supposedly, asexual.

6 OK, I realize that Lemmy is just about the ugliest man in rock and roll, but I feel like I owe him…something.  Maybe I should just make him dinner or knit him a rock…thing?

7 I still kind of have a problem with hair metal. I spent the hair metal years as an angry, skate punk and it’s still hard for me to forgive and forget when it comes to that particular sub-genre. Still though, they both have the Nikki Sixx moppy, messy black hair thing going on.

8 Trend alert!  I have a thing for tall, raven-haired, pale rockers.

9 Ew, no way.  Wendy’s position is that he prolly made up for his unfortunate lips and teeth with expert cocksmanship.  To me, it matters not, still ew.

10 A crush so old, it’s positively developmental.

11 Well worn territory.

12 LOL, this should be its own post.  We started off talking about rock crushes, but veered into hip hop after someone dropped an LL Cool J.  I was trying to think of some other good-looking rappers, and I blurted out “Lil John!”  Wendy countered that no one is sure what he looks like because he’s always wearing huge sunglasses, mouth jewelry, and a baseball cap.  But still, he made us laugh so hard, he’s staying on the list.

13 Admittedly, Los Beatles did not immediately spring to our minds, too old.  However, at the end of the night, we placed them in order, as you do…Paul, George, John, and Ringo.

14 I think I was pro and Wendy was con.  He’s a weird-looking guy to be sure, but anyone that has written “Gimme Danger” and slept with David Bowie is ok by me.

15 This is kind of a Lemmy thing again, but he’s the cutest Melvin.

16 I’d have to go back to Throbbing Gristle-era Genesis.  He’s mostly female now and has had more genital piercings than any sane person should.

17 Yes, I know he’s gay.

18 Wendy says he looks weird.  I say any man that’s good enough for Beyoncé is good enough for me.

19 I’m against, Wendy’s for.  I love his music, but there are better looking, goth-y singers.

20 I’m against, Wendy’s for.  Even though he fits 8, I’m not really a fan.

21 After we make love, he could sing a medley of “Ghost Town”, “Nightclub”, and “Things Could Be Beautiful”!

22 I think it’s the eye patch.

23 Maybe the Gary Oldman version.

24 Wendy said he’s an asshole too.

25 The reason I’m against is because I saw the Red Hot CHili Peppers at The Ranch Bowl (live music + bowling!) in Omaha when they toured in support of The Uplift MoFo Party Plan.  It was a great show, but I distinctly remember the goobery snot and boogers around Flea’s mouth area during the show.  It’s like he entered some sort of idiot savant zone and his brain temporarily traded an interest in personal hygiene for amazing bass playing.  His boogers haunt me to this day.

26 I LOVE this band, but there is no way I would ever sleep with any of them.  Greg Norton was the best looking of the bunch, but that giant moustache made him look more like a Tom of Finland model than a gentleman a straight woman should “spend time with.”

27 You know what, Internets?  Fuck Social Distortion, fuck Mike Ness, and fuck you if you like them.  This band is/was about as punk as The Starland Vocal Band and all the people out there that claim them as some sort of punker than thou link to their youth are nothing but first degree posers.  I’m so sick of people claiming them like they were the only/best punk band to make it out of the 80’s.  If you like themreally like them, then we can’t be friends.  Sorry.  Also mega-dumb: Jimmy Buffett and Dave Matthews Band.

28 It’s too bad really.  If he would have just kept his German yap shut about file sharing and music piracy, he could have had a shot with me.

29 Ok, these days, whenever I think of David Lee Roth or 80’s hair metal, the only thing that comes to mind is Dr. Roxo, the rock and roll clown, and his music video.

30 We had a long talk about this one.  Slash could be a good-looking guy if he took a shower, put on a shirt, stopped dangling that one cigarette out of his mouth, washed his hair, stopped wearing that big, dumb top hat, and put down his guitar for like, one day.

31 Under the right circumstances (booze, drugs, Christmas, peace in the Middle East), his talent outweighs his physical limitations.

Mood: shagged out
Music: The Cramps-New Kind of Kick



I was getting ready to go out on a date the other day, and “Garbageman” by The Cramps came on the bathroom boombox. I love The Cramps and I miss them.  They kind of hung it up when their lead singer, Lux Interior traded in his mortal coil for a halo and a new pair of skin-tight, snakeskin pants in February of 2009.  I was lucky enough to see them once at The Ogden on New Year’s  Eve in 2000.  It was a magical show.


cramps-ogden-nye


Lux spent the entire night slowly stripping off his clothes and channeling the illegitimate swamp demon spawn of  Wanda Jackson and Frank Booth.  Ivy, Lux’s wife and The Cramps’ lead guitarist, serenaded his breakdown behind a giant, gold Gibson (295?).  At this point, both of them were in their middle 50’s and they still looked and sounded amazing. I think they could have gone for another fifteen years, at least.

Lux and Ivy were freaks.  They worshiped at the altar of low-brow, uniquely American kulture and cloaked themselves in B-sci-fi/horror and exploitation flicks, hot rods, two-fisting amphetamines and nitrous, sleazy sex, motorcycle gangs, go-go dancers, fetish magazines, hillbilly records, pulp fiction, switchblades, gender-bending, circus side shows, kinky pinups, and depravity.  In other words, The Cramps were my kind of people.

Poison Ivy and Lux Interior



The world was a far more interesting place with The Cramps in it, and they will be missed.

…yeah it’s just what you need,
when you’re down in the dumps,
one half hillbilly and one half punk,
big long legs and one big mouth,
the hottest thing from the north to come out of the south…

The CrampsGarbageman


…well my mama had twin babies,
on one sweet summer day,
she beat one in the head,
and I’m the one the got away,
protected by my wighat,
and my Fredrick snakeskin pants
I rode my horse to Hollywood,
and did a wondrous dance…

The CrampsCall of the Wighat


Rock’n’roll is so great that everyone in the world should think it’s the greatest thing that’s happening. If they don’t, they’re turds.

Lux Interior

Mood: Mad and tired
Music: Gae Bolg-(Black) Sabbath


I care about you and how your week is going, kittens.   So, I offer you the following The Donnas lyrics and souvenir photos in the hope that they might propel you to award winnin’, beautiful cupcake bakin’, super-duper weekend-havin’, booty gettin’ greatness.

Don’t wanna go to the mall,
Don’t wanna go to the movies,
I think we’ve done it all,
Just take me to the backseat!
The Donnas-“Take Me to the Backseat”

Also,

https://i0.wp.com/4.bp.blogspot.com/_ClI5SJtFwsI/RubGRPlT9-I/AAAAAAAAAxA/07iAbBKkJro/s400/donnas.jpg

You should listen to us, we're awesome.

and,

http://hardrockheavymetal.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/donnas_poster_small.jpg

Seriously.

and finally,

https://i0.wp.com/thedonnas.info/include/gallery/donnas5.jpg

Why aren't you listening to us, right now?


an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

copyright

All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

Click the button thing below to have a delicious li'l slice o' Anna cake* delivered to your emails inbox whenever I write something new!

*N.B. Anna cake contains neither Anna nor cake.

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