Blog, Sweet Blog

Posts Tagged ‘comedy

A continuing series of reposts from my tumblr page, annahell.tumblr.com.

Oh damn! As soon as I saw this, I knew that this was the golden comedy fleece from which the fabled Sweaters of Hilarity are knitted.

Is this inspiration enough for a joke off? THE ANSWER IS YES!

If you want to play along at home, write a joke and post it or submit it to me.  I’ll reblog the best!

•I’ll take ‘Worst Ways to Find Out Your Parents Don’t Love Each Other Anymore’ for $600, Alex.

Divorce Magazine has a strict no suicide/binge drinking/custody kidnapping editorial policy because those kind of stories just bring you down, man.

•Rejected Divorce Magazine article submissions:

So, your hubby’s making time with the Cootie Queen?

Spousal surveillance: a beginners guide.

Are you a stalker?  Take our quiz and find out!

Divorce: Still shitty after all these years.

Divorce Magazine can go fuck itself along with Dick Cheney.

•Music Legend Dan Hill Talks Relationships…THAT END IN DIVORCE.

•Ahh, memories…of my parents getting divorced. Also, therapy.  Lots of therapy.

A continuing series of reposts from my tumblr page, annahell.tumblr.com.

My chance to hop on the annoying Jesus bandwagon…

mary: OK, now really look this time. Do you see anything in my eye?

jesus: Hey Mary?

mary: Do you see anything?

jesus: Hey Mary?

mary: What?

jesus: Knock, knock

mary: Seriously? My eye really hurts, Jesus! Could you just do what I ask for once?

jesus: No, it’s cool, you’ll like this one. Knock knock.

mary: Ugh. Who is it?

jesus: *laughing* Jesus. It’s Jesus.

mary: Jesus who?

jesus: Jesus Christ would you shut the damn door already! HAHAHAHAHA.

mary: You’re an asshole.

A continuing series of reposts from my tumblr page, annahell.tumblr.com.

Starting from top left… 1. people 2. people 3. people 4. people 5. people, but very slowly 6. people, 3, 4, and 9 7. really slow people, other cows 8. man, all of the above 9. chili rellenos…also, people (via tasteslikestatic, mydarling)

Counting from left to right, top to bottom…

1. people

2. people

3. people

4. people

5. people, but very slowly

6. people, 3, 4, and 9

7. really slow people, other cows

8. man, all of the above

9. chili rellenos…also, people

Mood: fu-fu-fu-Friday! Caturday!
Music: Belle & Sebastian-If You Find Yourself Caught In Love



Ok, I’ll see you back home, Kelly!  Are you sure you’re ok to drive?  You had a lot of shots.
Julie!  Jooollly Jewels…I’m fine…really.  I only had those one four shots in tha bafroom after I threw up and-aww, you held my hair!  Remember when you held my hair? I love you Jewels. You know that, right?  You’re my best friend.
I know, honey.  Sooooo, you’re ok to drive?
Alright, alright, I’m going! Can we get burritos on the way home?  PLEASE Jewels?

WOO WOO
Issa cops! What the shit are we gonna do? I’m not going back to jail, Julie!
Would you relax, crazy! I’m sure it’s just a routine stop.  Stay quiet and let me handle this.

Evening , ladies.  License and registration please.  Do you know why I pulled you over?
I’m sorry, officer…here you go.  No…I was just following my friend home from the bar.  She’s had a rough night.
Have either of you had anything to drink tonight?
SHIT YEAH WE BEEN DRANKIN’!  You wanna party with us, sexy?!

Shut up, Kelly! I’m so sorry, officer.  I’ll-I’m going to drive her home.

That’s probably a good idea, but I’m still going to have to issue you a citation.  I’ll need to run these licenses…

You’re givin’ us a ticket?!  Do you know who I am? IMA SUE YOUR ASS…AND…YOUR...FUCKING LAWYER! INNA FACE, COP!
Ma’am, there’s no reason-
WHHHHAAAAATTTT? Don’t you call me”ma’am” you FUCKING…COP…PIG! I’m 27!!!   IMA MISS! You hafta call me Miss…like Miss, Miss, Missydemeanor Elvis *urp* Elliott, ASS!
CHOO CHOOOOO!
What the…seriously?
Kelly?  Is that you, dear?
Mom?
Hi, Mrs. Adams!
Oh hello, dear!  I didn’t see you over there. How are your parents?
BEEP BEEP

Taxi!

Oh this is bullshit! What the hell is going on up there?

Brad, don’t!

No, Jill, we’ve been sitting here for half a goddamn  hour. HEY! BEEP BEEP COULD WE MAYBE WRAP THIS UP?  WE’RE NEWLYWEDS BACK HERE!

Mood: fu-fu-fu-Friday!
Music: Belle & Sebastian-If You Find Yourself Caught In Love



The Naked Redhead did a very funny Awkward Moments post the other day.  I liked it so much, I decided to steal her idea and make it my own.  How’s that saying go?  Stealing is sincerely flattering?  Good artists steal, great artists steal more?  Stealing is the soul of wit?  I don’t know, whatever.  Sorry I’m not very good at “history” or whatever, you guys.

According to your heart x-ray, Mr. Evans, it looks like you have four...oops, sorry, three minutes to live.

1 little piggy, 2 little piggies, 4 little piggies, 6...7...DARREN!

I don't care what he says, there's no puppies in concrete.

In retrospect, the Gunther Grass "The Tin Drum" commemorative statuette seemed like a bad choice.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

What do you mean you're "super-duper gay?"


an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

copyright

All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

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