Posts Tagged ‘death’
I forgot the answer
Posted on: Thursday, April 16, 2009
| Mood: | Adrift, with a headache |
| Music: | Ulver-Østenfor Sol Og Vestenfor Maane |
A couple of nights ago, I had a little bit too much to drink and decided to listen to some music before bed. While staring at the ceiling in the darkness of my bedroom, I listened to “Spook” and “Fourth of July” by Galaxie 500, then “Up With People” by Lambchop. Sometime around the middle of Sonic Youth’s “Trilogy”, I figured it out…
everything…
…all of it.
Tears streamed down the sides of my face and my head swelled with a warming Insight. Again, I had pulled aside the bloody veil of this world and gazed at the wonder and mystery that waits at the terminal. I finally understood God’s plan for this world, my place and role and meaning, the exact method for connecting my mind and heart to everyone, everywhere via words and sounds and thoughts and pictures. I uncovered the secrets for unimaginable wealth, perfect cupcakes forever, and thicker, fuller hair. Then “New Mind” by Swans played and and I was standing on a rocky cliff jutting out over the gaping maw of The Abyss. I wept with fear and despair as I was pulled over the edge to my inescapable doom. Falling, falling towards the horizon of my body’s annihilation, I saw a fine, silver line stretching from the moment of my death back to the time of my birth and the fear passed from me.
I fell asleep at some point and awoke to the sound of a workday morning’s alarm. I struggled to remember the answers, but the night had left only shadows and suggestions. Someday, somehow, I know I will remember.
