Blog, Sweet Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Jesus

A continuing series of reposts from my tumblr page, annahell.tumblr.com.

My chance to hop on the annoying Jesus bandwagon…

mary: OK, now really look this time. Do you see anything in my eye?

jesus: Hey Mary?

mary: Do you see anything?

jesus: Hey Mary?

mary: What?

jesus: Knock, knock

mary: Seriously? My eye really hurts, Jesus! Could you just do what I ask for once?

jesus: No, it’s cool, you’ll like this one. Knock knock.

mary: Ugh. Who is it?

jesus: *laughing* Jesus. It’s Jesus.

mary: Jesus who?

jesus: Jesus Christ would you shut the damn door already! HAHAHAHAHA.

mary: You’re an asshole.

Mood: Sickly and anxious
Music: The American Analog Set-Punk As Fuck

I have the under-the-weathers today, so I’m at home…hating it.  I’ll prolly be fine for tomorrow, but I think my rock and roll lifestyle is finally starting to catch up with me.  I’m still tired a lot and I still haven’t figured out how to balance taking care of myself with getting things done.  Right now, getting things done is winning by the slimmest of margins.

Oh sure, I could try the old, get plenty of sleep, eat right, and exercise routine, but come on people.  This is the year 2008 or something and I live in the United States of the Awesomericas!  Isn’t it high time we harnessed the power of pharmaceuticals or microchip technology or swine flu to maximize our personal productivity power…processes?!  Sorry, that was the fever talking.  I’m going to get more sleep and exercise, promise.

Here’s the fastest music lesson ever…The Spinanes, seriously…do it!

So yeah, I’m kind of ground-down and stretched to my breaking point, so I thought, “why not try Internet dating?”  I know, I’m as excited a you are.  Here is one of the brilliant ads I unleashed upon the world yesterday…

So, I have a problem.  I’m a pre-op, transsexual woman who would like to meet a nice, funny, intelligent, somewhat attractive, geek/punk/hipster/art-fag/nrrd, sane, employed guy who’s taller than me, around my age (+/- 10 years), not a cannibal or zombie, and who isn’t afraid to date a girl like me and this is the best idea I could come up with.  I know, right?  So doomed.

Still though, I’m an insufferable optimist (and stranger things have happened) so I’ve got to give this a try.  The website told me I had to tell you about myself (and used red letters, so it’s like, important), so…

1. The Hobbies – I like to do lots of things, but I’d be hard-pressed to call any of them “hobbies.”  I like to cook, hike, camp, make pretty pictures, bake, try making music, blog, ride my bike, take pictures, make movies, try new foods, go to shows, go to museums, shop for records (and shoes and clothes), and I think you get the point.  I don’t play Dungeons and Dragons, participate in Civil War reenactments, or ballroom dance with my cat…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

2. Goals! – These are all going to sound boring, but whatevs.  I plan to go back to school in the next year or so to finish my MSEE.  I’d like to do a lot more traveling everywhere, all the time.  I want to be better at my job and make lots more money.  I want to meet someone, settle down, and create a family with them, eventually. I want to have a fun summer, participate more in the arts community, keep losing weight, try some new restaurants, have sex reassignment surgery, learn how to silkscreen, ride down to that farmer’s market next Saturday, go camping and hiking a lot more, and etc.

3. Why I’m Awesome and Like a Snowflake –  You should have figured it out by now, but I have a lot in common with other people that are awesome 🙂  I’m intelligent and have a good sense of humor.  I’m mostly nice, employed, warm, modest (lol), somewhat attractive, a geeky riot grrl, an excellent cook, and not a zombie or cannibal…not that there’s anything wrong with that…oops, sorry, those are horrible.  I live and work full-time as a woman (and am fully accepted as one) and have for some time.  I’m not embarrassed of who I am, but I don’t feel like I need to share everything with the entire world.  I like going out to bars, clubs, shows, and galleries, but staying in to “watch movies” by “Jean Luc Goddard” is also nice.  And I’m fun.

4. Ah! Melody –  I should just send you the link to my last.fm page, but I don’t even know you yet.  Let’s just say I like “different” music and that I’m a music snob.  Meaning, we can’t be together if you have poor taste in music, sorry.  Some of my favorite bands are Sleater-Kinney, Cocteau Twins, Current 93, Motorhead, Pavement, Stereolab, and The Fall.

If you’re kind of like the guy I described and are interested in taking me out on an amazing date, you should send me an email and tell me all about yourself (or point me to your profile somewheres).  If I agree, we’ll email a couple of more times then talk on the phone and meet at some non-sketchy, public place.  Move it along if you want to swap hundreds of emails, can’t spell, won’t talk on the phone, or have no idea what “sketchy” means…and good luck!

Subtle, right?  I don’t see how it can fail or end up in a drunken potluck cry party knife fight quilting bee over international waters.

After putting up the ad, I had a look at the kind of work my future husbands were putting up.  Would it surprise you to learn that the average guy’s ad is not as wordy?  Well, it surprised me to pieces.   In fact, it seems like the average guy’s ad is about four lines long and usually references sports in some way.  I asked Kaylee if I’d gone too far with my ad and she reminded me that they’re guys and that’s how they roll.  I keep forgetting that guys are not at all like me, so thanks Kaylee.  Of course, I’ll be posting all of the excruciating details of my dating failures for your reading pleasure.

In other news, my coolest stepsister Heidi called me out of the blue to talk about Jesus and baby squirrels (see, it runs in the family) and it made me the happy.  Heidi and I were born on the same day, in the same year, in different towns and half of our parents are married to each other.  So it’s got to be some kind of crime if we’re not friends from now on.


an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

copyright

All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

Click the button thing below to have a delicious li'l slice o' Anna cake* delivered to your emails inbox whenever I write something new!

*N.B. Anna cake contains neither Anna nor cake.

Join 3 other followers

sorted into tiny boxes

archives

i’ve been listening to…

favorite artists this week

flickr photos

More Photos

mah numbas

  • 44,013 hits
May 2017
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031