Blog, Sweet Blog

let's just pretend this is from a Joke Off segment from SNL's "Weekend Update"

I posted this on mah tumblr last night, but I’m having second thoughts about keeping it there.  I want that page to be different than this one…more visual, darker, dreamier.  I feel like the jokes have found a home here (in a wayward-home-for-lost-ideas sort of way) but words beyond poetry or lyrics seem alien over there.  I’m ok with that.  Maybe I’ll start a Molls-style tumblr at some point, but keeping it special and dark today feels right.  Until I get it figured it out, sorry for the cross posting.

Anyway…  Some of you may recall the recurring joke-off segment from the Tina Fey/Jimmy Fallon-era of Saturday Night Live‘s “Weekend Update.”  The premise was that the two would battle each other for who could tell the most jokes (not the funniest) on a topic in a certain time period.   I’m sure they wrote them ahead of time, but to me, it seemed like what it might be like to watch them pitching in a writer’s meeting.

I would love to make this a regular Blog, Sweet Blog segment, but, as I can’t recall any recurring segments on this blog, we’ll see how that goes.  The idea is that I’ll try to think up around five jokes in a short time (~15 minutes), then post them for your “entertainment.”  Feel free to chime in with your own jokes for this or any other topic.  Ugh, now that I’ve used the world’s longest, most unfunny setup to strangle the life out of this bit…

So, I’m in the middle of cleaning the house and I just got done with the main bathroom. It was so skeevy, it felt like the perfect topic for a joke-off, naturally.

My bathroom was so dirty…

-I seriously considered getting hooked on crystal meth to get the energy to finish cleaning.

-while I was cleaning, the executive producers of Hoarders called to pitch me a new show called Dirty, Dirty Slobs….because they wanted me to host…from my filthy bathroom…because it was so gross.

-the people that live in my head wouldn’t even go in there.

-a xxx fetish website emailed me a job offer. I had to tell them it wasn’t that kind of dirty.

-it made my mother cry.

-just writing this makes me want a to take a Silkwood shower.

Mood:	la dee da
Music:	Little House on the Prairie-“A Most Precious Gift”

tall, distinguished, famous...not pretty

Dear A