Blog, Sweet Blog

Posts Tagged ‘las vegas

Mood: Apologetic
Music: Ben Folds Five-One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces


FROM TUMBLR: One of the funnier whiteboard jokes (which isn’t saying much) from the engineering computing lab when I was in school. Someone drew a nice dog on the whiteboard and I added the words….because I like to help.


Ugh!  I’m so sorry, you guys.  I’ve been so busy tumblrlogging and wrestling with a bunch of hot, sweaty story ideas, that I’ve been neglecting my oldest and bestest love, Blog, Sweet Blog.  Again, sorry, but allow me to explain.

Oooh, wait!  First, let me explain the “not-dearth” thing.  Sometimes, when I write, I consult a dictionary or thesaurus to double check a word’s meaning or spelling.  I had dropped “dearth” on a friend of mine during a particularly lengthy and productive Skype call this weekend.  The context was something like, “Yeah, there’s too many choices these days; there’s a dearth of options!”  She even made especial note of the word when I said it and , at the time, I thought she was admiring mah mad word skillz.  I thought I’d go back to the well this morning and impress you all with a well-placed dearth or some other, more obnoxious synonym.  Well, color me all kinds of embarrassed; the Wiktionary told me that the synonyms for dearth were scarcity and paucity, not abundance and plenty+1 to the forces of evil allied against me! This is a one-woman operation, you guys.  Sometimes, I make mistakes, ok?  Sometimes I’m not a “good speller” or a “person who knows the meanings of words and uses them correctly in a sentence.”  I don’t think you should let a silly thing like that stand in the way of our special love.

So anyway…trapped underneath a 500 pound pile of story ideas right now and I don’t know how to get out from under it. Should I tell you guys about how knitting crushes all but the strongest of craftsters and how this recent project is driving me to the very edge of madness? Should I tell you the story about my Saturday and how I got sort-of kidnapped and fed breakfast by Denver’s most interesting tow truck driver?  Perhaps we should talk about my recent business trip to Las Vegas and its connection to my other trips to Washington DC and Mobile, AL this year? Maybe I should be working on a I’m a nice girl, really, you guys cherry for the top of that dating piece I just did.  Of course, there’s always my ever changing feelings about stuff and things; those have to be aired out too, lest I exploded from crazy.  And what about the sweet, sweet happenings over on tumblr?  Like so…


Why yes, I am researching how to shave my cat.  I’m no “cat expert” but I don’t see how this could end badly.

FROM TUMBLR: Why yes, I am researching how to shave my cat. I’m no “cat expert” but I don’t see how this could end badly.



And there’s always room for reposts from my college blog!  GGGAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

See, you guys?  It’s too much! I’m overwhelmed and much more interested in knitting and tumblr right now, but I’ll find a way to get up to date, blog-wise, at some point.




And that, my friends,  is what you call making something out of nothing.

Mood: Feistytired
Music: Descendents-M16


glittering, savory by anna hell



Well, I’m back from Las Vegas, a few dollars poorer, but richer for the experience, insert your own cliché.  More on that later, promise.  In the meantime, let’s talk about about some recent goings-on with my ex.

So, if you’re just tuning in, I broke up with my first, post-transition boyfriend at the end of January.  I was/have been kind of sad about it, but these things happen.  I feel loads better now and I suppose this is as good a “writer’s experience” as any.  We traded a few hurtful emails for a week after breaking up, but I hadn’t contacted him or heard from him since then.  He sent me a hey! what’s new? email, apropos of nothing, last Monday.  That was weird all by itself, but the fact that he made me feel like he was just catching up with an old friend after a few weeks apart instead of randomly pinging a person who’d had feelings for him and who had willingly touched his penis made it seem extra awkward.

We have a history, him and I, officially.  We didn’t part on the greatest of terms and we certainly didn’t agree to remain friends.  Throughout my life, I’ve observed a strict as-soon-as-we-break-up-I-don’t-want-to-see-you-or-hear-from-you-or-think-about-you-ever-again-seriously policy.  I started to reevaluate that with my previous ex.  It seemed wrong to cut out such an important part of my life.  I’m beginning to believe that these people’s presence in my life is/has been meaningful and necessary.  I think learning to value that is better than hiding from pain. I relayed my newfound love for ex-loves to him in a meagbitchy, accusatory way…

[Redacted],

I know you’re “not trying to ‘sell’ anything” but you contacting me out of the blue, like nothing ever happened is weird for me and a little hard to deal with.  I haven’t contacted you since we broke up because I didn’t want to talk to you, not because I felt like I had to stay away or give you space.  Are you trying, in some ham-fisted, obtuse way to say that you want to be friends?  I don’t know, maybe.

For the record, I love emails.  I sent you a lot of them, remember?  I don’t care for text messaging, but it has its place and I like them even better if they’re a precursor to a phone call.  I’m kind of meh on the Skype thing with you.  If you want to talk to me, why don’t we just get coffee or something?  I can like throw a rock at your house and it seems totally absurd to use Skype if we don’t have to.

Regards and such,


Anna



Ugh.  I think I could have managed a nicer, more diplomatic response but I am a woman scorned and them’s my feelings, y’all.

I’m not opposed to being friends with him, but our history gets in the way.  I’m funny…it’s like I hold my friends to a higher standard of behavior than my lovers.  So, where a boyfriend’s inability to express himself is merely annoying (at first, anyway) it can be the reason to end a friendship.  His foibles were charming and tolerable when we were intimate, but now they’re all dealbreakers.

If you haven’t guessed, his awkward attempt to reach out/make me crazy/whatever totally rubbed me the wrong way.  Combine that with the online dating winners I’ve encountered recently (oh, just you wait, my pretties) and I kind of feel like giving up on guys.  Are all of them developmentally disabled when it comes to expressing themselves?  Is this how it’s going to be?  Like, if you’re interested in me and want me in your life, is a little wooing with the nice words too much to ask for?  Apparently.  I haven’t heard back from him.

Maybe it’s me?  Maybe my pre-surgery standards are too high?  Maybe I am the megabitch ice queen who’s incapable of settling and doomed to a multi-cat spinsterhood?  I wish I knew, Internets.  If I did, I’d just go ahead and adopt another kitty right now.

I think it’s more likely that I’m a complex, complicated, somewhat damaged, skittish, too-smart-for-her-own-good girl who will find her other half, eventually.

Mood: Vegas, baby
Music: Gang of Four-Why Theory?


In the Mouth a Desert


Conduit for Sale!



O hai!

You’ve reached the corporate headquarters of Blog, Sweet Blog Worldwide Consolidated Holdings, Ltd.  Unfortunately, no one is available to take your calls or answer your emails this week.  We’re going to try our hand at love and adventure, Las Vegas style…maybe attend a conference.

People say that Las Vegas is bad for us; he has a kind of major gambling problem and a thing for showgirls and binge drinking.  They say he’s broken and damaged — suicidal even — that he lives on thrills and dollar bills but can only return tarnished fantasies and empty gestures.   You know what they say about stories, though.  The other side is that, every once in a while, he’ll drop his charismatic, panicky, hustling swagger for a certain someone.  At once, he’ll recall his buried innocence and shower her with as much sweetness and warmth as he can remember, until his weakness returns like the dawn’s early hangover.  The fantasy always ends and few decide to the work is worth the reward.

We’ve got all week to find that sweet, young man everybody warned us about and see if we can make it work; we’re not leaving here until we find out…or until our plane leaves.  Either way, we’ll be back next week, increasing shareholder value and creating best-in-class personal blogging content.

Until then, we remain,



The Blog, Sweet Blog staff



an introduction





Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really me...it's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.

copyright

All content on Blog, Sweet Blog is copyrighted by me, Anna Hell. Unless otherwise noted, all photos, words, and content on this site are mine, created by me, and should not be used without my permission (or at least attributed and linked back). I try to embed links or quote original source material if I use another person's work.

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