Blog, Sweet Blog

Posts Tagged ‘mom

Mood: I have the dread
Music: WBLS’s In Control from 7.14.89 feat. Ultramagnetic MCs and 3rd Bass

Margaret demonstrates the low point in Victorian-era Women's athletics, the wildly unpopular, Single-handed Trunk Drag.

I was watching Bram Stoker’s Dracula when I started writing this the other day and I realized, the first five minutes of  that movie are totally metal.

So Happy New Year, y’all.  I realize it’s a little late to do resolutions and wrap-ups (or so says John), but I wasn’t aware of any rules or time limits banning the writing of New Year’s resolutions after January 1st.  I figure, as long as I get something out by the end of January, we’re good.

First, let’s recap the major events of 2009…

-continued basking in the crappy, coming-out aftermath with my parents.

-CAME OUT AT WORK!!!  Seriously, in retrospect, this almost seems like a non-event, but, let me assure you, it was definitely an event.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget the megaWatts of energy expended in sweating worry, HR meetings, legal wrasslin’, and amazing letter writing before the big day, but it was all totally worth it.  It’s hard to believe I’ve been full time for 8 months now.

drove out see my father in Iowa for July 4th weekend, had a great time.  Also saw the mighty Sunn O)) in the mighty Big O.

-finally realized my cat might be trying to kill me.

-spoke at work conferences in both Washington D.C. and Mobile, AL…I should prolly tell those stories at some point.

-renewed my nuptial vows with my first love, Cheese.

-read some books.

went back to graduate school, got an A.

-battled King Ghidorah with Godzilla on Japan’s mysterious Monster Island.

tried internet dating and won.

-made up with my mother and she and my aunt came out to visit.

-had an unplanned gall bladder-ectomy.

-crowned Queen of Donkey Kong.

-won a caption writing contest and got my first professional writing rejection.

Holy wow, that was quite a year, hunh?!  I’ve read how some other bloggers didn’t particularly care for our old friend, 2009, but I thought it was pretty great.  I think my choice to (and following through with) transition helped a lot and waking up from the eight-year long nightmare of the Bush/Cheney regime seemed to lighten up the place considerably.

This is getting long, so let’s take a cheese break and meet back at the next, thrilling New Year’s installment, Viva la Resolutions!

Mood: like I just gave birth…to this blog post!
Music: Neko Case-Maybe Sparrow

*ed.  I’ve already written this blog, but lost the whole thing because I forgot to log in.  The first version was awesome, but I can’t remember it.  Sorry if this one isn’t as good, Internets. There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

Ugh, I’ve been feeling so off for the last month or two.  It’s not really a depressed kind of thing (or maybe it is), but it’s been really hard for me to generate interest for anything beyond bathing, watching television, writing emails, blogging, feeding the cat, and doing homework.  I’m constantly late to work.  I haven’t been eating much.  My sleep pattern is more of a random process and the mail is unopened, my house is unclean, and my to-do list is undone.  I’m not sure why I’m feeling Maybe it’s because my mother and my aunt are flying out here on Friday.

It’s hard to believe that it has been almost  a year since I came out to my family and friends.  For the most part, people have been sweet and accommodating…my mother is an exception.  She lives out-of-state and she’s had a very hard time with this.  Since coming out, we’ve only spoken on the phone once about ten months ago and traded a very few, terse emails.

I’ve tried every trick I could think of to bring her around.  I’ve sent her the sweet, “it’s no big deal, I’ll wait” email, the pleading, “why don’t you love me?” email, and the angry, “screw you, I’m better off without you” email.  Nothing seemed to work.

The last time I tried one of my special emails, she sent me a reply that said she was still trying to come to terms with this. She told me she’d tried counseling and asked how she could see my YouTube videos. Heartened by the sudden turn for the better, I sent her video instructions and encouragement. Weeks went by without another word.

She called my sister at some point. From what my sister said, it was almost as if she’d gone backwards in her progress and acceptance of me. My mother was all, “have you talked to your brother lately?” and “how is he doing?” It was beyond infuriating and I felt angry, sad, and powerless…again.

Unless you’ve gone through this, it might be hard to understand how this all feels. I still had a mother, theoretically, but she didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with me and, try as I might, there was nothing I could do to make her feel differently.  And it’s not like I suddenly became a Nazi or a pedophile. This is a recognized medical condition, she’s a nurse, and this isn’t totally without precedent in my life. I’m still a college graduate, and an electrical engineer, and good at my job, and a tax payer, and a voter, and I have friends, and I’ve never been convicted of anything more serious than a traffic misdemeanor.  I’m also an adult and I have lived a great deal of my life without having to rely on my parents for money or esteem-boosting.  Still though, it’s an awful feeling to be shunned by anyone, especially a parent.

My sister and I came up with one last idea.  I would send her a copy of True Selves along with a positively frigid, “this is your last chance” email and wait for her response.  I sent the email and book about a month ago.  Four days later, she sent me an email saying she had read the book in one sitting and was planning to come out to see my sister and I some time soon.  A week or so after that, she sent me another letter saying that she had purchased two airline tickets and wanted to know who was going to pick them up from the airport.  Apparently, True Selves is a magical tome forged from unicorn tears and fairy wings under the light of a pregnant moon.

So yeah, I’m nervous and excited.

I’m excited because I actually miss my mother and I desperately want her to be a part of my life.   I may have discussed this before, but my childhood was…different.  My parents divorced when I was seven and my little sister and I spent most of our childhood moving between parents and states and addresses, usually once every year or two.  As the eldest, I’ve always felt like the peacemaker, the caretaker and I’ve never been happy with my family’s cool indifference toward each other.  We barely talk to each other and, when we do, it’s usually through gritted teeth and pursed lips.  The half-closed mouth is a guard against accidentally speaking our mind or unleashing a torrent of pent-up hostility and recrimination.  I think other Scandinavian/W.A.S.P.-types roll the same way.

And so, with that sort of history, is it any wonder that the little, seven year-old girl in me wants to fix her family?  I wanna have one of those movie families where people love each other and support one another and often choose to be in the same room with one another because they enjoy each other’s company.  I think I’ve made good progress with my father, hopefully the same will be true with my mother.

I’m also nervous.  For one thing, she’s bringing my aunt with her.  My aunt and I have never been that close, so she must be a traveling ally/mobile support system.  Which is fine, I guess.  My aunt is part of my family and I might as well get right with her while we’re at it.

I’m also nervous because I’m not sure what to expect.  Mom mentioned that we’re going to have a “talking party”…whatever that is.  Honestly, if she’s not planning to lead off with a day-long hug while gently whispering, “I’m so sorry” over and over again, then I’m not sure what we have to talk about.

People who like me say I’m “strong-willed” and that I “speak my mind.”  People who don’t like me say I’m a “mouthy bitch who should shut her fucking know-it-all, pie hole every once in a while.”  The truth’s in there somewhere, Internets.  If I’m as serious about making the peace as I claim to be, it might help to try being sweet, patient, and accommodating…just this one time.  Or maybe I’ll just drink a lot.

So, fun family weekends ahoy!  They leave sometime on Sunday and I’ll update you some time after.  Until then…

Mood: Eh, you know
Music: TAD-Candi

Why can’t every blog post be about cheese?  Srsly…cheese…so great. So, hello again, Internets!  I’ve been crazy busy lately but I’ve been having the urges to keep you, my virtual friends, appraised of the happenings in mah life.

Let’s start with electrolysis.  If you’re scoring at home, I’ve now spent just over $4000 and 70 hours on facial hair-removal.  Like I said in the title, the woman that tortures me for money and I just celebrated our one-year electrolyversaryaganza.   We spent the day in the way we spend all of our days together–she stuck a needle into my face, turned on the heat, and pulled out hairs while I made awkward conversation, tried not to cry, and paid her for the privilege at the end.  Srsly tho, we are making progress.  My small talk is getting less and less awkward…jk.   Within the next month or so, I should be able to cut down on the length of my sessions.  My face seems a lot more clear than it had this summer and it seems like she’s able to get a lot done all over my face and neck.  So, that’s good.  I can’t imagine how much longer this will go on (forever still seems entirely reasonable), but it’s beginning to feel like less of a lifestyle and more like an occasional hobby…you know, like taxidermy…or designing evening gowns for kittehs.  Then again, I think I’ve repeated that sentiment so many times that it’s beginning to sound fresh and new again.  But I’m funny like that, hope and grim realism springs eternal.

Recently, my virtual friend, Jamie started electrolysis and I had a couple of thousand words of unsolicited advice for her.  I won’t bore you with most of it, but it can be boiled down to electrolysis sucks and since you’re going to be doing it for the next, too-long period of time, hang in there and try not to worry about how long it takes or what did or didn’t get done that week.  Also, try not to touch your face too much afterward…and drink plenty of fluids…and eat at least one apple per day…and treat yourself to ice cream every once in a while…and kittens are nice.

When I was writing the advice, I had to really think back to the beginning and how awful it was.  I’ve had some painful, voluntary “medical” experiences, but electrolysis ranks among the worst.  Until she completely cleared it the first time, I would shed the pain tears every time she touched my upper lip.  Now, it hardly hurts at all and the lip heals faster than the rest of my face.  I guess it’s easy to lose perspective when you’re fighting something every week, but hard work does pay off, kittens.  And at the end, I’m totally getting an electrolysis merit badge for all of this hard work.  OMG you guys, we should totally start the Trans-Scouts and have sashes with little badges for every milestone we complete…also, berets.

Mmm, what else?  I started back to graduate school, click here for some hot, grad school action.

Work has been nutso-majutso and busy and frustrating.  Not in a bad, permanent way, it’s just that sometimes I hate development and computers…which is super unfortunate since that’s 75% of what we do here on the farm.  When I’m really having problems with, say, compiling a program, I get to feel like my forehead reverts back to Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer sticky-outy-ness and I start to drool and make a low durrrrrrrrr sound under my breath.  Acio illustrative picture!

Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages.

And I curse a lot, out loud.  So, that’s been fun and it won’t be improving until I finish this project.

Other than failing at that project, work is going well and people seem to be happy with what I’m doing.  And in September, I get to go to Washington D.C. for work!!!!!  It will only be for three days, and I have to, you know, work and stuff, but I’ve never been and I’m just about to pass out from the excitement.  Full-color Lincoln Memorial souvenir photos and tiny American flags for everyone! I keep having these fantasies about how me and my co-worker are going to stay in sexy hotels and be wined and dined by Washington’s Beltway elite.  Perhaps we’ll become embroiled in some international intrigue or be taken on fabulous, exclusive tours of all the best Washington landmarks?  Maybe we’ll be invited over to the White House for some late-night drinking and CoD:4 deathmatching with the President, Shelly O., and Al Gore?  Even if none of that comes true, I’m sure I’ll still have a good time.  And our hotel is dead sexy!

Two college classmates work at the USPTO in D.C., so I’m going to try and see one of them while I’m in town.  I sent him an email (the coming-out kind) a couple of weeks ago when I found out I was going.  After a few missed calls, we spoke on the phone.  The first thing he said was, “So, are you using some kind of electronic voice box?”  I laughed because it was kind of flattering and because he’s always been the type to ask the questions that no one else would think to ask, e.g. Hey guys, I think it’s time my girlfriend and I had anal sex.  How can I talk her into it? It was sweet and charming, in an invasive, off-putting way.  Still though, it’ll be nice to catch up with him and did I mention I’m super excited about getting to go to D.C.?

Finally, kittens, things may be improving on the Mom-acceptance front.  A couple of weeks ago, she sent me an email asking about how one would go about watching my YouTube videos.  They weren’t loading for her or something, so she wanted some help.  She also said that she really missed my sister and I and that she was trying to get used to “the new me.”  I kind of bristled at that.  I’ve talked before about whether the “but I’m still the same person” defense is valid or not.  After some consideration, I decided that I am pretty different.  I mean, I don’t think my core sensibility has changed, but I don’t think someone would figure that out if they hadn’t spent a lot of time with “the new me.”  Anyway, it makes me happy that I might be able to have a positive relationship with her again some day.  In her email, it kind of sounded like she wanted to come out and  see us.  I would love it if that happened.

Enough already!  I had better post this before someone else sends me a thoughtfully concerned email.

Mood: Monday, y’all
Music: Spacemen 3-Feel So Good

I really like the band, Sunn O))) and have been wanting to see them for years.  But, since they’re snooty metal art hounds, they only seem to play in hip, sexy cities like…New York City!  Tokyo!  Tel Aviv!  Paris! I always figured it would be a long time/never before a trip to one of those sexy cities and a Sunn O))) show aligned.  So, I was shocked and delighted to see that they had deigned to play some shows in the lowly Midwest and in a city that’s sort of close to me and to my heart…Omaha, Nebraska!

Once I saw that, I planned out a mini vaca in a matter of hours.  My father lives in Des Moines, IA (which is like three hours from Omaha) so I decided to make the drive out to see him then swing back to the Big O for the concert on Monday.  I’ll leave the Friday after next and drive all day to Des Moines.  We’ll hang out and celebrate America’s birthday, then I’ll drive to Omaha for the show and stay overnight Monday.

This prolly isn’t a great time for a vacation, but whatever.  It’s been a long time since I did anything fun for myself and it will be really great to see my Dad and the band.  This is the first time that my Dad will have seen me since transition, so it’s going to be kind of weird at first and I’m the nervous.  But, I’m sure that will pass minutes after I get there.  I’m so happy and together these days, it’s hard for people to not be charmed to death by my…happiness, togetherness, and death-inducing charm.  And bless his little heart, Pops seems really excited and is already making plans for our time.  I’m excited too.  I haven’t seen him in a couple of years and he’s been really supportive of my transition.

I haven’t written much about my parents and their reaction to the news of my transition.  The short version is that my father has been very sweet and has really been trying to make an effort to accept the new me.  Mom is…incommunicado.  We spoke at Christmas and I have received, maybe two, terse emails from her.  And I’m not sure why she’s had that reaction.  She isn’t extremely religious and is fairly liberal, politically.  So…what’s motivating this?  Maybe she feels like she failed as a parent?  Whatever, it’s all pointless speculation until she actually tells me what’s going on.  Lord knows when that will be and I’m not sure what I can do to improve our relationship in the meantime.  So, I’m very much looking forward to renewing my relationship with at least one of my parents.

K, back on topic…so, Sunn O)))…

…is kind of hard to describe.  They’re basically doom metal slowed down to the point of ambient, diaphragm-crushing abstraction.  The reason I want to see them so badly is because their shows are more like a physical, rather than musical experience.  They usually perform in black robes and pack a smaller venue with dry ice smoke, a single light source and many gigantic bass cabinet guitar amplifiers.  I think the result is like swimming at the bottom of a very deep, frozen lake and witnessing an ancient summoning ritual.  Or, kind of like…

So, I’m excited (and frightened) but it should be an unforgettable experience and a very interesting way to end Summa Vaca ’09.

Mood: Woosh
Music: The Beatles-Julia

Ok, so I’m done with the coming out letter.  Wee-yow is it long, but I think it’s a really good letter and it should make my transition nearly painless :-).  I wrote the first one to my Mom and will send further edited copies out to Dad, Aunt Debbie, Charles, Melanie, Scott and Donna, Cassy, and Jen.  For posterity’s sake, here it is…

Hi Mom,

I’m so glad we’ve been able to trade some meaningful emails recently.  Over the years, I’ve discovered that having a positive relationship with my family is very important to me.  Of course, some of my familial relationships are easier to grow and maintain than others, but they are all worth the effort.

I may not say it as often as I should, but I love you and Tom very much.  In your way, you two have always been there for me and supported me through good times and bad.

As you know, I have been seeing a therapist for some time.  I started seeing one in the middle of April just as things were getting really bad with Cassy.  I decided to start therapy because I was trying to find some way to cope with being a transsexual.  Take a deep breath; I know this is a shock.  The definition of a transsexual  is a person who strongly identifies with the opposite sex and may seek to live as a member of this sex especially by undergoing surgery and hormone therapy to obtain the necessary physical appearance (as by changing the external sex organs).

A lot of transsexuals say they always felt like they were born in the wrong body or knew they were girls from their earliest memories.  I didn’t really feel that way.  I always felt like I was very different from other boys, but it’s like I wasn’t able to comprehend what that might have meant.  I cross-dressed from a very early age (six or seven) but I wasn’t able to classify how I really felt until my middle teens.  I don’t know if you remember this Mom, but you attempted to have a conversation about my cross-dressing with me while I lived with you in Evergreen.  Jen was seeing that male therapist (I was 17 I think) and you asked me if I wanted to talk to him as well.  I wanted to tell you everything right then and there, but it was like my mouth was incapable of forming the words.  I had no idea how to explain my feelings to anyone, so I kept quiet for years.

I’ve been pretty unhappy for a lot of those years and I think most of that had to do with my discomfort in having to act like a male.  I’ve tried a lot of different things to silence the voice in the back of my head (drinking a lot, joining the Army, getting engaged, etc.) but nothing has worked.  I’ve always felt like I was living a fake life and that has caused me to be very depressed at times, made me perform poorly in school and at work, and kept me from forming strong relationships with my family or friends.   Therapy and the realization that I can make some positive changes in my life have allowed me to be truly happy for the first time in years.

As you may have guessed, this is the real reason that Cassy and I broke up.  I told her about this about 6 months before we got engaged and she didn’t seem to mind.  In retrospect, I think she wasn’t able to fully process or believe what I was saying at the time.  After I started talking about transitioning more and more, I think she finally realized what I was really talking about and it turned out to be too much for her.  As I’ve said, my feelings towards Cassy have never changed.  I still love her more than anything and want to spend my life with her, but I’m still waiting to see if she can feel the same way about me given all the changes I’m going through.

So, if you’re still with me, you’d probably like to know my plans for the future.  Some of my plans are dependant on what’s called the Benjamin Standards of Care.  These standards specify how transition from one sex to the other should be accomplished and are supposed to ensure that that I’m making the right decision for me.  I began the process in April by seeking out a therapist who was specifically trained in gender issues.  My therapist, Dr. S, has a Doctor of Psychology from DU (undergrad from Dartmouth) and she’s very good…I’ve included her number at the end of the letter.  After a number of sessions, Sarah determined that I was not crazy, that I was sincere about wanting to begin my transition, and that I was doing this for the right reasons.  Sarah sent my family doctor (who has a lot of experience with transsexual patients) a letter giving her blessing to begin hormone replacement therapy.  I have been taking 200 mg of Spironolactone (and androgen blocker) and 4 mg of Estradiol (estrogen) for the past four months.  The changes have been slow, but are noticeable.  I see my family doctor once every three months for a check up and blood work.  So far, I’m doing well and in good health.  I have been working on my voice and facial hair removal (hormones do not help with either) for a few months now.  I started with laser hair removal in May but switched to electrolysis a couple of months ago.

Over the next week or so, I will have come out to everyone (you, Dad, Aunt Debby, my friends…Jen has known for years) that is important to me…except for work.  I’m still not sure when I will come out at work…I’m thinking sometime in the Spring maybe.  Before I come out at work, I will have completed a legal name change with the state.  I’m pretty sure I will go by Anna P, but I am open to suggestions for a first and middle name. With the name change, I can change the gender marker, name, and picture on my driver’s license; change my information with Social Security, credit cards and other accounts.  After all of that is changed and I have come out to my boss and HR, I will begin living as a woman full-time.  The Standards of care specify that I need to have lived as a woman full time for a minimum of one year before I can get clearance for any surgery.  My plan is to get sexual reassignment surgery, but I can’t say when that will be…it’s very expensive, like $15-20,000 and is not usually covered by insurance.  There’s a very good surgeon (Dr. Marci Bowers) that splits her time between here (Trinidad actually) and Seattle.  If I were to get surgery, she would be at the top of my list.

I’m not sure why I am this way Mom, but you should know that this isn’t you or Dad’s fault.  I think the most common explanation is that there is a difference in brain chemistry due to hormonal exposure during fetal development.  So, this has nothing to do with the fact that you and Dad got divorced, or that you were a single Mom, or anything…I think I would have turned out the same way if none of that had happened.

I know you worry about Jen and I and, no matter what it seems like, I really do appreciate it Mom.  You know I’m not a rash or impulsive person and that I try to give careful consideration to any new situation.  I’ve given this decision literally years and years of thought, study, and planning.  I know this is the right decision for me and that this is probably the only way that I can be truly happy in life. Things are going to get a bit harder for me as I adjust to my new life, but I’ll be careful.  I know that women in general (and trans women in particular) have a lot more to worry about when it comes to personal safety.  I don’t have to exchange my common sense for hormones, so I should still be able to take care of myself like I have been for the past ten years.  I am willing to change any behavior of mine that isn’t safe.  Also, believe it or not, I pass for a woman pretty easily…and it will get even easier the longer I’m on hormones.  So, I’m not too concerned with negative public reactions. Anyway, please keep up the normal Mom-type worrying, but I think I’m going to be alright.

Ok, so here’s what I expect from you…

-read this letter very carefully, share it with Tom, and try to fully digest what I’m saying and why I’m saying it.

-do some research on your own…call my therapist if you want, visit some websites, check out the library, or talk to some friends or Jen.

-when you’re ready, call me or send me a letter of some kind.  I want you in my life now more than ever but that means we’re going to have to talk about this some time.  Bring all of the questions you want and, hopefully, an open mind.

-eventually, I’m going to want you to treat me (and relate to me) as a woman, girl, daughter, etc.  The biggest part of that is getting the pronouns (switching from he to she) and my name right most of the time.  I know this will be hard and will take a while, but I’ll wait :-).  I’m pretty relaxed about pronouns and names now, but as time goes on and I get closer to going full-time, misgendering me and using my old name will really start to hurt my feelings.  Also, I clearly remember when Jen came out to you and how that was received.  We’ve all had a lot of time to deal with it and have learned a lot since then.  So, I hope things go a lot more smoothly this time.

-finally, try to be understanding…this is the most difficult thing I have gone through in my entire life.  My emotions and confidence change minute by minute right now and will probably get worse as I get closer to going full-time.  Many people compare this time period to a second puberty.  So, if you ever catch me acting like a moody 13 year old girl, please try to be patient with me…I’ll get over it in a few minutes.  If that doesn’t work, apply ice cream or hugs until the symptoms clear.

I know this is going to be hard for you Mom, but you’ll see that this is the best decision.  If you’re worried that you’re going to lose the person you’ve come to know and love, don’t.  I will look different, sound a little different, and act a little more like a girl, but I always be the smart, sweet, loveable, funny, kind, adorable, (I could go on :-)), naïve, and mixed-up kid you’ve always known.  And, believe it or not, there’s a lot of funny in all of this transition stuff.  We’re all going to have a big laugh about all of this someday, I promise.

I love you and Tom more than anything in the whole wide world and I can’t wait to talk to you.



p.s.  So, I’ve taken the liberty of compiling a list of resources for you.  If you need me to send a book or any other articles, let me know.

Lynn Conway’s Website

Dr. Lynn Conway is a professor emeritus in Electrical Engineering at the University of Michigan, she cowrote the textbook on VLSI (very large scale integration, the basis for all computer processor design), she’s transsexual, and a hero of mine.  Her website has a lot of good information and the Transsexual Women’s Successes page has profiles on tons of amazingly successful transsexual women.

Transsexual Road Map

Andrea James is another superstar in the community.  She’s a succesfull businesswoman and television/movie producer.  Her and her friend, Calpernia Adams, recently spoke at the Vagina Monologues.  She established this website a long time ago and it’s a reference I always find myself going back to.

My YouTube Channel

I subscribe to a lot of TS girls video channels(click on subscriptions).  Some of them are having an easier time of it than others and all of them are at different stages of transition.  But they’re all beautiful and wonderful in their own way and I love following along with their lives…karmatic1110, riftgirl, gothique11, grishno, icecoldbath, fiddlejamie, Jayhawke, and blickblocks are some of my favorites.

Susan’s Place Forums

This is a discussion group that a lot of girls use.  The discussions are broken down by sections, so you can read at your own pace.  Also, I think there’s a section for significant others (which include parents).  You can connect with other parents or ask your own questions if you want.


Here’s a decent FAQ (frequently asked questions) list.

My Son, My Daughter-an article from Ladies’ Home Journal

An article written by mother dealing with her son’s transition.

True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism-For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals by Mildred L. Brown & Chloe Ann Rounsley

-This is supposed to be like the book that everyone gives out.  I’ve not read it, but am considering buying it to give out.

Wee-yow!  Now I just need to sit on it for a couple of months until I’m ready to send it out.  That will be hard, I want to send it out now.

an introduction

Hi, I'm Anna and I love cheese!

This blog is a chronicle of my life and a catalog of happy ephemera. The About page has a little bit more information, but, remember, none of this is really's just a supplement, a thumbnail sketch, a mostly anonymous Intarwebs placeholder. I'm way better/less wordy in person. :-)

Oh, and if I wrote something about you and you thought it was mean or hurtful, I'm sorry. It's how I felt at the time, but probably isn't how I feel now. Chances are, I love you and I think you're awesome.


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January 2022