Posts Tagged ‘precious moments’
- In: near funny | random
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| Mood: | fu-fu-fu-Friday! Caturday! |
| Music: | Belle & Sebastian-If You Find Yourself Caught In Love |
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Ok, I’ll see you back home, Kelly! Are you sure you’re ok to drive? You had a lot of shots. |
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Julie! Jooollly Jewels…I’m fine…really. I only had those one four shots in tha bafroom after I threw up and-aww, you held my hair! Remember when you held my hair? I love you Jewels. You know that, right? You’re my best friend. |
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I know, honey. Sooooo, you’re ok to drive? |
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Alright, alright, I’m going! Can we get burritos on the way home? PLEASE Jewels? |
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WOO WOO |
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Issa cops! What the shit are we gonna do? I’m not going back to jail, Julie! |
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Would you relax, crazy! I’m sure it’s just a routine stop. Stay quiet and let me handle this. |
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Evening , ladies. License and registration please. Do you know why I pulled you over? |
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I’m sorry, officer…here you go. No…I was just following my friend home from the bar. She’s had a rough night. |
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Have either of you had anything to drink tonight? |
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SHIT YEAH WE BEEN DRANKIN’! You wanna party with us, sexy?! |
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Shut up, Kelly! I’m so sorry, officer. I’ll-I’m going to drive her home. |
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That’s probably a good idea, but I’m still going to have to issue you a citation. I’ll need to run these licenses… |
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You’re givin’ us a ticket?! Do you know who I am? IMA SUE YOUR ASS…AND…YOUR...FUCKING LAWYER! INNA FACE, COP! |
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Ma’am, there’s no reason- |
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WHHHHAAAAATTTT? Don’t you call me”ma’am” you FUCKING…COP…PIG! I’m 27!!! IMA MISS! You hafta call me Miss…like Miss, Miss, Missydemeanor Elvis *urp* Elliott, ASS! |
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CHOO CHOOOOO! |
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What the…seriously? |
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Kelly? Is that you, dear? |
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Mom? |
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Hi, Mrs. Adams! |
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Oh hello, dear! I didn’t see you over there. How are your parents? |
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BEEP BEEP
Taxi! |
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Oh this is bullshit! What the hell is going on up there?
Brad, don’t! No, Jill, we’ve been sitting here for half a goddamn hour. HEY! BEEP BEEP COULD WE MAYBE WRAP THIS UP? WE’RE NEWLYWEDS BACK HERE! |
Precious moments…in humor!
Posted on: Friday, March 5, 2010
- In: near funny | random
- 2 Comments
| Mood: | fu-fu-fu-Friday! |
| Music: | Belle & Sebastian-If You Find Yourself Caught In Love |
The Naked Redhead did a very funny Awkward Moments post the other day. I liked it so much, I decided to steal her idea and make it my own. How’s that saying go? Stealing is sincerely flattering? Good artists steal, great artists steal more? Stealing is the soul of wit? I don’t know, whatever. Sorry I’m not very good at “history” or whatever, you guys.
According to your heart x-ray, Mr. Evans, it looks like you have four...oops, sorry, three minutes to live.
1 little piggy, 2 little piggies, 4 little piggies, 6...7...DARREN!
I don't care what he says, there's no puppies in concrete.
In retrospect, the Gunther Grass "The Tin Drum" commemorative statuette seemed like a bad choice.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
What do you mean you're "super-duper gay?"
